Matt Lovato (mlovato) wrote, @ 2003-07-25 00:40:00

Current mood:

aggravated

-bends and unbends the bill of his baseball cap, a frown etching across his face as he stares at his blank screen. shoves the cap back onto his head and places his hands down; starts to type rapidly-

Okay, so I think it's time I update about what's been happening. I already admitted I was wrong for liking someone else while I was with her, and I already apologized. But fuck - let's stop antagonizing Matt and saying shit about him, huh? And most of you fuckers who have been saying shit about me, you have no business being all up in my life in the first place, so do yourselves a favor and pay attention to your own shit.

As for her. I apologized for what I did to you. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect hero for you. I'm sorry I couldn't be all the things you were expecting me to be. But I'm not a perfect person. I make mistakes too, just like you and just like every human being on this planet. I have flaws that would make the worst sinner on this earth look like a saint. But saying I never gave a shit about you or that everything about me was a "lie"? What's that? If I never gave a shit about you, I sure as hell would not have asked you out in the first place and I wouldn't have gone out of the way to explain to you why I couldn't break up with you. If I was just some random jackass, I would have either just cheated on you or just break up and not give you a good reason why. So don't say I gave a shit when I obviously did and the sad thing is - despite what you've been saying about me, I still do.

You not being around for me seems to be more out of choice then inconvenience. You seem to be around a fuck of a lot more now that you're with someone else.

It was never out of choice and it sure was never just an inconvenience. I'm sorry I just could not be around for you when you needed me. I had a job to do and believe it or not, I'm still doing it. I didn't just drop everything I was doing to be with Jessica. Yeah, it made things easier because she's on the bus, but I still don't see her that much.

I'm sorry I disappointed you. I feel bad that I made you lose whatever faith in me that you had, but it was better to just tell you instead of lead you around like a stray puppy.

-sighs to himself and rubs his eye tiredly-

I don't fucking know what else to say. There's a lot more that I want to say but either I can't bring myself to say it or I just don't know how to put it into words. It's both actually.

Have a good fucking night.

_maggs 2003-07-25 05:49 (link)

I know that you have a job to do. I just find it strange how I never got invited on the bus to spend a little more time with you yet somebody else did. That hurt. It's not like I was working or doing anything at the time. I tried to apologize for all that stuff that I said. I know that it isn't true. I really wasn't trying to make you out to be a bad person or say shit about you or anything. That was just how I felt. I can't say anything to your face right now because, to be honest, I think that I'd lose the guts to say it if I saw you in person. I could say it over and over and maybe you don't think I mean it, but I am sorry. I don't know if I really deserve it but I still hope that we can still be friends in some form, even after all the things that I've said. It's really up to you. --Maggie-- (Reply to this) (Thread)

j__alba 2003-07-25 09:02 (link)

-:Sits at the computer, her knees pulled to her chest, reading over his entry, her brow furrowing when she's done. Closes the Internet Explorer window and walks over to the bunk, glancing down at him asleep. Leans down, pressing a soft kiss to his temple before climbing in beside him. Nestles herself under his arm, resting her head against his shoulder and her arm around his waist. Looks up at him, her eyes taking in his features as she whispers softly:- You're an amazing guy, Matthew Lovato, and I'm glad you're mine... -:Leans up, brushing a soft kiss to his lips before resting her head back against his shoulder, closing her eyes and snuggling against his side:- (Reply to this) (Thread)