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updates... finally Rain. It's raining outside and I find myself sitting here again, early as it is to type away as usual. Sunshine's beside me - this pretty big, orange-and-yellow stuffed dog that I bought roughly a week ago? Or something like that when me and my family watched X2. The air's cooler - thank the Goddess, since I don't think I'd appreciate blistering heat right now. My muscles hurt, more since I did a full workout yesterday - something that I'm trying to make a habit of since I really wanna get in shape for not just hockey, but for a number of other reasons. I mean I don't get any other exercise other than my T/TH hockey sessions which have now gone from two hours to three - 3-6 in the afternoon. and I definitely miss dancing, but have no time to get back into it. Besides, I wanna look presentable before I get my ass over there.^^ Did a couple of things from the moment I logged onto the net. **please hover on the names. Did a couple of emails. Due ones particularly - for DE and Athens. Told them about the news I plan to tell my--Kai, Mai, Harle, Isis--girls this coming Wednesday when Flip and I meet up with them. Also in on the fun will be my darling Ube, Charliedoggie and hopefully, Kuya will, as he says - do a sneaky sneak out of the office. I highly doubt that he'll show though... since it's a given fact that he loves his work. Wants to work more. And is your basic workaholic. ^-^~ <-note to the public... this is supposed to be an ermine. I'm being my regular hyper self today... despite the aches and pains that plague me. That's what I get for being out of shape. At least the toning factor is getting somewhere.^^ Anyway... aside from that, I've been browsing through my Aunt's VT page and am finally getting the hang of how it's supposed to go. Pardon the poor kid. I felt a little lost since the things I'm used to are Livejournals, Blurtys and this one. My favorite one. ;p I'm still hung up on Crazy/Beautiful, and am getting even more hung-up on pictures. Went through lots of stuff when I was ransacking my shelf for pictures to put in my journal-cum-scrapbook. Haven't started on it... YET. Yet being the operative word. I will though... today, hopefully, considering that it's likely to be a slow one with everyone just widing down. Flip especially, since he'll be coming home from LSGH. What else to write...? Well, I'm excited for Wednesday. Lots of fun happen on Wednesdays. It's basically the group tradition. Hopefully in the incoming schoolyear it'll TRY to manage to stay the same. I know Harle and I will still have our Wednesdays - U-break is a constant thing here. Anybody notice that the links are particularly plentiful this entry around? I guess I just need to feel connected. Something's... off. I guess... I can't put my finger on it, but it's there. Not bad. Not good. Just there. Half creeps me out. It's always this way this time of year. Oh shit. I just remembered why. Last year, Mother's Day, Franco texted me saying (I think it went like this): hapi mother's day 2 ur m0m nd lola The magic(no k) of text, eh? Isis has gotten into the habit of songwriting. No music yet - but then I've always offered to be the tune-finder. Her lyrics are wonderful, but that shouldn't surprise me since writing was and still is one of the main things that bring her and me closer. I love having a sister. Even if I constantly am praning on several levels that I hurt/disappoint her. Evidently, she doesn't think so, considering that I recalled what she said the night of my debut. I know you don't hear this a lot from me: but I am proud of you sis. And I love you. Gah! Getting considerably weepy again. Blame it on the rain. The sky cries for me more often these days, and from what I've gotten on the last few posts - crying isn't a bad thing. I am female. I am allowed. To hell with the bloody sods who think otherwise, right? Anyway, she's been writing lyrics and I can't help but want to learn guitar for the heck of writing the music down - and fast. Can't though, considering as I am not allowed to learn guitar. Dang. I remember that Mr. Villapando - the only music teacher that I got the pleasure of having as a teacher for two memorable years of my life in High School. He wasn't there for my senior year though - with due reasons, but I'm glad that he did attend the graduation proper - or so my batchmates tell me. I even ran into him one time on one of his visits to school that timed to my own dalaw and told him when he asked that I didn't place in my last year's Grad Song Contest. He said that it didn't matter. He told me he actually got news from his graduate (my batch) students that it was good. Heheheh... to think, he'd always supported my music. He even made a face saying that I shouldn't have stressed on Metropop too much back then. He'd listened to the news that I sent in and didn't make it, and told me that it didn't really matter. Iba yung tipo ng nandoon. That's as close as I can get to what he said before. And since we're on the topic of St. Scho... I've been taking a stroll down memory lane as of late and have realized that no matter the hell I went through back then - I'd do it all the same way if I could. Maybe that's what Mr. Baula meant when we discussed the other form of past/present/future being done all at the same time. You won't change anything - because you accept that changing things would make things... wrong. Somehow. I know I wouldn't have thought that way years ago - but things... events/people/lives get a little more in the objective/subjective perspective when you grow a little older. Maybe it's the fact that 18's like a new start that makes me think this way. The Higher Powers forbid that I go on an early mid-life crisis when I hit my late twenties. I remember a conversation Faye and I had at House Blend during the last stretch of the school year. She'd just graduated then and was supposed to be at Grad Practice. Point is, she was sick (read: sniffles) and didn't want to contaminate the entire graduating batch. We got to talking at how our lives in high school semi-sucked - more for me than for her (she was my batch's Big Sister batch, btw) since she'd watched me grow through the infinite number of rotten stages. A bitch for a supposed "best friend", a barkada that left me behind (three of which continue to be close friends of mine/barkada today), a class that turned against me. All in all - she'd seen me... "grow" (no, not in height. I'm still the same 4 10 and 3/4 inches as I was in freshman year...) into the person I am now. A person she gladly calls 'my kid' and would fight tooth and nail for considering that she just wants me happy. Is it any wonder that she coined the term: male bimbo. For those who know who this is - don't say anything nalang.^^ Funny how she wanted to play a part at least in the planning of my debut since she wasn't sure if she could attend. My Of Roses and Rain cd will ALWAYS be precious in that aspect. She burned both copies and wished me a happy birthday. Love you Da. ^^ Sana maging masaya ka na din. Anyway... we talked about how Kulasas (term used for Scholasticans. And when I say Scholasticans, I mean those who are TRUE BLUE-bloods. There are few and far between in the College Department - no offense meant to those who are, you might be one of them - who understand what it means to be from SSC) return to St. Scho, even if, at the point they were in it, it was your basic Hell 101. She mentioned something to me... something a friend/batchmate of hers said at one of their get-togethers: May dream ako. Na sana, kapag nagkita ang mga Kulasa, irregardless of whether magkakilala man o hindi, magka-batch man o hindi, hindi lang 'hi/hello'. Kundi hug at usapang kapatid. Kick me, but it sounds like something someone would say. Rather - it's something of a tradition in his school. His batch. We were more of the same worlds than we both realized. Maybe a little off-tangent at times, but there was something that made us the same. The same thing that makes me mesh well with the personalities of everyone who walks into my life. I know that to some who'll read this blog - they'll actually tell me to quit talking about my ex since he's past and should leave the past in the past. That it's done and over with... and I should just stop. That's also something that he'd be likely to say... since he said that before as well. Harle, you've more than once impled that... and, as much as I appreciate the sunshine... I also need my rain. I'm water, remember, and no matter what he's done, he's a huge part of who I am. He walked away with a huge chunk, but I've found the fill to put in that empty bite off my shoulder. It's all of you. And I'm not saying that you were all panakip-butas. No, it's like a puzzle, mon chère amis. If the piece don't fit, it don't belong in the set.^^ The piece he took away kinda belonged. But you guys fit the picture better. I love ALL of you. So, here I am, talking away, making mention of a person who I didn't want to talk about in the past eight (yes, it is FINALLY eight, NOT seven!) months and it's... easier. Considering that I can now enjoy (him) without any illusions. I think my favorite beauty Mia Devlin mentioned that in Face the Fire... yes Mama's hung up on that book yet again - and is presently cooking breakfast and my stomach's grumbling for fuel. Not just yet though... I have a few more lines to write. Because I have promised my sisters - and everyone else who matters, that I will tell them (Let's go all Ally McBeal now...^^) the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me Goddess (and all other heavenly beings), I'm stating here and now that I want to allow one of my good friends in the block - KittyKim - my fellow Stitch-lover (boyfriend niya at honey ko) - to have access to this thing. She's a net lover and I trust her to keep this to herself. And besides... I miss having her meddle in my life. I'd allow Crissy access too... but right now, I still have a few kinks to work out before I do something as life-altering as that. Final Stretch. I finally finished the long standing Romance. That's big news as it is. Still have no candidate for my duet partner (Josh Groban anyone? Seriously, I hear his voice on that track.^^) but I'm not rushing. In something as important as my music - you can't rush it. I'm working on a new one though... I'm thinking of doing the first piano-cum-guitar track for NHB and I want the theme to go something like this: "We're all just living in this world / Just trying to get by / You're not alone / You don't suffer alone / We're all just working our way / Through the muck and candy that's life / Know that / Remember that / No one's an island" - possible lyrics for No One's An Island; No Holds Barred I want my music to say something this time around. I want what Harle describes in Windy Day to be real. "For every aspect of life, for every facet of love...she was able to make a song for each of them." - Charlotte Legan; Chapter 1; Windy Day by Lady Harle
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contemplative
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