Smithers (missdementia) wrote, @ 2005-04-22 11:11:00

well, i got reminded by a fellow Blurtian yesterday that I should update, since January was my last time. I'm never good at keeping up with this...I ALWAYS promise myself that I'm gonna be faithful to my blog...but for some reason, I am sidetracked constantly. Not that it matters any, since nothing in my life really changes. The "proverbial" rut!

My kid is still driving me nuts, although, some days are better than others. I'm sure it's just a phase, due to her age. 14...raging hormones, changing body, wanting to be independant...that old chestnut, man, this is the time when I wish I had a boy!!!

So a couple of weeks ago, she was on my nerves and I was already in bed and it was already like 10:30pm. She just kept coming in my room bugging me about how bored she was and she wouldn't leave me alone and let me relax. So, I was like...FUCK! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO????????? Then I kept giving her suggestions and she was like...scared, I think...LOL because she thought I was losing my mind, which, at that point, was probably right on target. So anyway, I was like fine..you wanna do something, get dressed we're going to the beach RIGHT NOW! We'll go watch the sunrise and drive back home...hell, it's only 3 hours one way, fuck it. So we went. It was cool, the moon was blood red at the edge of the earth when we got there. You could see it barely hanging above the horizon, sooo fucking beautiful. We sat on the boardwalk at 4am looking at it and watching the falling stars. The wind was blowing so hard and it was COLD. There was this drunk, long haired guy sitting on the steps that lead up to the boardwalk playing his acoustic guitar singing Nirvana and Black Crows songs and it was a pretty cool scene. Of course, there wasn't many people there at 4am but more than I expected to run into. We got tired and so we went to the car and slept until time for the sunrise. After that we decided to start driving home. GAWD! I was soooooo tired. I had to stop in this one town and park behind this doctor's ofc, which was closed and sleep for a bit because there was no way i could make it back without a nap.

That trip made me want to be so much more spontaneous. I love being spontaneous. It's just that usually, I'm too broke to live in the moment. Not much else to report on. Oh, oh, oh...this weird thing did happen though, with my dreams. You see, I've always been amazingly fascinated by my dreams. And I can always tell when my dreams mean something important to my life or when they're just "junk dreams" as I often refer to the ones that don't relay a feeling of major importance. Many of my dreams have come true in weird ways, some of which, I believe are coincidences, some of which I believe are plain and simply, prophetic dreams. So, like a month and a half ago, I had this one dream where I was in a home that was my home in my dream, except different than my actual home. It was a mobile home and it was in the middle of this huge field. I was looking thru the front door, which was open, and the wind was blowing really hard and the sky was dark, like a thunderstorm was about to happen. Well, all of a sudden I see this tornado in the distance and everyone runs for cover. After the tornado passed, which missed us, i was looking out the front door again and I see this kid hopping toward us and his foot is almost blackend and he says that he got stuck by lightning and I take him in and take care of him. (oddly his foot was the only thing affected by the lightning strike). Well the night after that...my best friend called me and she was crying and upset because she had fallen down and hurt her foot really bad and it ripped her entire big toenail off in one fell swoop and it bled tremendously and she was almost hysterical. ok...that's dream prophecy #1, that I admit could be coincidental.

Next...like 2 days after this, I have this dream that I went to visit some family and friends that live in a small town that I used to live in. So, these friends that I was visiting happened to be these gay guys (which is weird, because I have no idea who these gay guys were in real life, I didn't know any when I lived there). One of the guys tells me he has to go away but that the other guy needs me to stay and take care of him or at least this is my interpretation, because he seems to be needy of me somehow, almost in a childlike way. Well, the next thing I know, I'm jerkin' off this gay guy, but it doesn't seem sexual for some reason, it seems like a maternal thing...it's SOOO weird...and I know it sounds sick but my name is Miss Dementia! Ok, so while i'm jerkin' the guy off, I notice that there seems to be something wrong with his "junk" and I take a closer look and it's all covered in puss and red...EWWWWW! LMFAO I wake up. ok, the same day I wake up from this dream my best friend takes her baby to the doctor. He's 6 months old at that time. He isn't circumsized. They check his little "tally" and he's got an infection in the foreskin....YUCK...but ok, that's dream prophecy #2. Is this merely a coincidence????

Next. like 2 days after this, I have this dream that I'm with my mom somewhere and we run into these two friends of hers that we haven't seen in EONS! So long, in fact, that until this dream, I had forgotten we even knew these people. The two friends don't know each other in real life either, which, was kind of odd to me, since they were in my dream at the same time. Anyway, I don't recall a great deal about this dream, except that we ran into them after all these years and we hung out for a while and maybe had dinner and reminisced or something. But again, this dream wouldn't leave my head after waking up from it. I kept meaning to tell my mother about it, because I thought she may find it fascinating as well, but about 3 days passed by and I kept forgetting to tell her. On the third day after the dream, my mom got a phone call from her brother, who told her that one of the people from my dream had made contact with him, somehow, and that he was trying to contact my mom....I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT as I was hearing this, so much so, that I starting crying because...well, i'm not really sure why, other than It was just too much for me to grasp that this happened to me three times in one week. that's dream prophecy #3.

Now, those weren't the only times this has happened to me. But the only time it happened three times in one week. So, I have this fear now, of having dreams that are gonna come true, especially if they are bad.

Anyway, I love dreams, I love dreaming, I love to hear about other people's dreams. It's so fascinating how the brain works.

Well, I guess this is enough for now! Hell, I feel like i've just written a novel.

	Good stuff (Anonymous) 2005-04-25 10:55 (link)
	Hi! Nice to see a journal worth reading for a change. You're right, it does seem to be mostly kids on here - stressing about prom dates and church. Pretty boring reading for a 28-year-old. Hope you don't mind a stranger posting. I'm just happy to have found an interesting blog. Thanks, Tracy (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Good stuff missdementia 2005-04-28 00:06 (link)

Hey, I don't mind at all! Although, I didn't think anyone ever read mine....LMAO. Funny how you find it interesting, my life that you read about...and I find it so mundane. But I guess, If it were me, reading some of this stuff about someone else, I would probably be a little interested too...LOL, i dunno. But, thanks for the compliment and I hope to see u soon, Tracy. Bye. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)