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Daemon Child Lyn (midnite_neko) wrote,
@ 2003-04-08 00:02:00
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    Current mood:busie
    Current music:PhysuX readin and HW

    I can't do my HW... I keep thinkin back to that Go match on sunday... damn damn damn... what a stupid move... damn... oh well it was my first match... I miss Ryan... practiacllie I'm way over my head in love with him... before... I loved the idea that he is in love with me... and that I have someone to appeal emotion to... but now I've been thinkin about him constantlie... and yes the pain in my heart has been gone since I cried and he was there... but it feels like I've passed a point of no return... we've been thru a lot and it has nearlie been three months... no matter what I still think back to last semester when we were mere friends before the winter break... my gosh... so manie thoughts roamin in my head...

    Time has been passin by so quicklie... exactlie last year, my familie was gettin our papers about the Japanese students who were comin that summer... review sessions fer the finals and gettin our graduation stuff readie... the race to make the top 2% of our class was crucial fer perfectionism and scholarship applications were on a deadline... high skool was hectic and life was finallie full of remorse and memories... last minute attempts to know our classmates before we will never see them again... takin pictures and signin shirts... throwin parties and sharin name cards... I couldn't believe that that was no more than a year ago...

    It's been a half year since Yuka visited america and I just sent a letter to her after she sent a second letter to us... they were here fer one week instead of two because they had to get back to Nippon in time fer the beginnin of their fall semseter... and the day they left was my first day of college... I was scared and lost... luckilie the people I knew were in my historie class and eventuallie those people introduced me to more peole who are my friends now... and then I met Ryan...

    I seem to be revertin back several time to our first meetin... I can't help it... it happened so quicklie... so suddenlie and surprises one after another... ack... too manie thoughts I wanna put on paper... childhood thoughts of a wasted life... post pubertie life and middle skool depression... high skool miseries... I gott get back to work...

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