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Daemon Child Lyn (midnite_neko) wrote,
@ 2003-04-02 12:03:00
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    Current mood:sad
    Current music:earlie class dismissal today

    Bad Talk
    Me and Cayari had a strange conversation over AIM last nite... he was mad over webCT and I made it worse... why do I always do that? thinkin about it fer a while... I have sorta opened up to him... he knows some things my parents don't know about me... I can't express my feelins verballie... never was gud at public speakin... my word choice confuses people and I can write better cause I have to the time to think it out...

    The box of NERDS has a bunch of little critters all happie and smilin and enjoyin their short sweet lives... and then you eat them and enjoy the crunchiness of their former bodies... how cute that these are bein sold to children though... I'm eatin them now to keep me up after sleepin in historie class today... something's wrong with me... maybe bein depressed has drained a lot of my energie... I've been sleepin a lot and not doin much after midterms... my last exam is fer physuX is on 24/4... that is so late...

    I may retake college algebra over the summer and maybe another psycologie class to suit me... that oughta be enough credits to come in as a sophomore next Fall... Lauren's comin to UH!!! Hooray!!! A decent high skool friend to hang with again... she's cool and we'll both be in the architecture department together... yay...

    I don't wanna ruin anything between Cayari and me... but it's tough to be happie after what I went through... he tries hard to keep me sane... I try hard to stay sane... manie times I do stuff that'll leave marks as horrid reminders of my sad life... but not as sad any more... I don't want him to worrie about me... when we first met I was alreadie recoverin from a depression so all he saw was the happiness of me... he's indirectlie seen me depressed over the winter holidays and now he's experiencin it at full force what my life is when the lights burn out... I don't want him to be involved with my troubles... mainlie they're just personal problems that I believe that no one else understands... they have a slight idea but not the same... he can try to help... may even hit the spot since we have similar morals... but still I'd rather be left alone to think things out...

    In the end I'd onlie want him there to be with me against all odds... him by my side is more meaninful to me than anything else in the world... right now I want him more than my familie... there is this idea that I believe in... I will not mention here... I have no priorities to stand by...

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