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Doin' The Stroke
Something happened recently that reminded me of this - a person complained about "being snubbed" by someone else, when the someone else had not, in fact, "snubbed" them.
In conversations, there is a theory with some fancy name that goes essentially like this: When having a conversation with someone, there is an expectation that "strokes" will be traded. If there is an imbalance in the "stroking", the conversation isn't really working.
As an example:
"Bob" walks into his office and passes "Harry". Bob says "Hello"; Harry says "Hello". They've just traded one "stroke" each. They part, each feeling reasonably OK about the conversation.
This can extend further:
Bob: Hello
Harry: Hi, Bob. How's it going?
Bob: Oh, not bad. How about you?
Harry: Doing fine. Later.
Bob: See ya.
They've each traded about 3 strokes.
Now, let's suppose that there's an imbalance:
Bob: Hello
Harry: Hi, Bob. How's it going?
Bob: Terrible. My knee's acting up, the kid's in trouble at school, and someone stole my cellphone.
Harry, expecting the standard stroke-for-stroke exchange, is likely to be taken aback.
Similarly:
Bob: Hello, Harry. How's it going? (2 strokes)
Harry: Fine [walks off] (1 stroke)
Bob's left feeling that things aren't really "fine" with Harry.
The upshot of all this is: If you nod at someone, and they nod back, and neither of you continues the exchange.... You haven't been snubbed
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