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how did we ever get by without you? you're so vain I bet you think this song is about you don't you? don't you? don't you? don't you? Gosh, I have to be the single most depressed person in the world right now... I am doing so much better at not hurting myself.. so much.. It does help that Shawn tends to bite me a lot. Gives me something to feel. Other then that i have not really cut, burned, bruised... whatever demeneted type of self-mutalization since around November.. go me.. This mood i have been dwelling in seems to be taking everything out of me. I do not know how much longer i can take it.. At least i know i will not kill myself.. I can not even guess exactly why i feel this way... I know it is not Jared..sigh. Nothing new going on there. I think it is this drama.. i hate drama, and ever time i turn around there is something. Whether it is something stupid like a broke down truck or something a little more trying like Vina's girlfriend taking off. Me spending a week mending there relationship.. i need to stop caring so much for other peoples lives. I never have time for myself.. I feel useless when i do that though.. It is probably because i am a pisces or something...sigh... I know that is not the only problem i think that is just the icing on the cake of my wonderful life... I just want to scream so loud, but have nobody hear me.. i want to disappear... I feel desperate more then ever. I think i should take a break from everyone i know... A break to put myself back together... I need to stop living so dead.. Unfortunetly, i can not just disappear. I must tell them i will not be around for a while.. I will on Saturday, inbetween the performance of Hedwig and the angry inch and the rocky horror picture show. now I belong I'm one of the chosen ones now I belong I'm one of the beautiful ones
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