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alisha (meloncollia) wrote,
@ 2004-01-08 17:53:00
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    all our pain
    how did we ever get by without you?
    you're so vain
    I bet you think this song is about you
    don't you?
    don't you?
    don't you?
    don't you?

    Gosh, I have to be the single most depressed person in the world right now... I am doing so much better at not hurting myself.. so much.. It does help that Shawn tends to bite me a lot. Gives me something to feel. Other then that i have not really cut, burned, bruised... whatever demeneted type of self-mutalization since around November.. go me.. This mood i have been dwelling in seems to be taking everything out of me. I do not know how much longer i can take it.. At least i know i will not kill myself.. I can not even guess exactly why i feel this way... I know it is not Jared..sigh. Nothing new going on there. I think it is this drama.. i hate drama, and ever time i turn around there is something. Whether it is something stupid like a broke down truck or something a little more trying like Vina's girlfriend taking off. Me spending a week mending there relationship.. i need to stop caring so much for other peoples lives. I never have time for myself.. I feel useless when i do that though.. It is probably because i am a pisces or something...sigh... I know that is not the only problem i think that is just the icing on the cake of my wonderful life... I just want to scream so loud, but have nobody hear me.. i want to disappear... I feel desperate more then ever. I think i should take a break from everyone i know... A break to put myself back together... I need to stop living so dead.. Unfortunetly, i can not just disappear. I must tell them i will not be around for a while.. I will on Saturday, inbetween the performance of Hedwig and the angry inch and the rocky horror picture show.

    now I belong I'm one of the chosen ones
    now I belong I'm one of the beautiful ones

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2004-01-09 06:15 (link)
get a clawed cat.

my wrists have never been so accidentally slashed.

oh and *hug* hehe

(Reply to this) (Thread)

2004-01-09 21:47 (link)
I have six cats.... I love my scars.. i just think i should slow down on it... i tend to go overboard i think..
*hugs back*

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