meLy (mela) wrote, @ 2003-10-15 01:00:00

Current mood:

pensive

Good morning, good morning!




I'm tired. It's not even midterms yet, and it's already hell week.

I'm going to see the doctor soon about my eyes. I hope I can get back on contacts. Besides the fact that I feel dorky on glasses, they're heavy and foggy and finger-printy. =P Hehe. I'm starting to get used to wearing glasses all the time now, though. Which is a good thing, I think.

I got an OK grade on ISTECH. Yay.

+ - + - +
I went back to my old high school today. I had an interview with Mr. Laqui for our ISTECH4 system. Despite all the renovations, the place hasn't really changed. While I was passing by the Sophomores' corridor, I half expected to see my old class sitting in one of the rooms. But the rational parts of me knew that I didn't know any of the students there anymore.

Sometimes I could just cry, when I think of how things used to be. They didn't seem to happen that long ago. Yet when I look at those old places that used to be mine, my friends and mine, well, they're not ours anymore. They're someone else's. Someone else's rooms, corridors, benches. And there are no traces that they were ever mine, or ours. Strange how some things stay the same while others can change so quickly.

Like that line in the Pablo Neruda poem -- "The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer."

I went to the PPRO office. It's still in front of the field, where I last saw it. Saw Ms. Jean and Sir Gary. Ms. Lorie was nowhere to be found. When I saw Ms. Jean, she exclaimed: "Melai! Ang mature mo na!"

Have I really changed that much? When I look at the mirror I don't think I've changed at all. I still see myself as how I was a few years ago.

Now, I really feel old.

hey, let's go to the old folks' home, heh. sliptape 2003-10-14 20:05 (link)

hayyyyy....buti ka pa you got to go and reminisce....me i can only imagine...and with each year that passes it becomes less clear. It doesn't even come in my dreams, you know? Don't worry about feeling old -- imagine how i feel...semi-exiled...it was bad enough at first that i was made to repeat sophomore year and therefore finish high school a eyar later than you guys, but that can't compare to missing out on going to college my new friends *here*...that's even worse. As it stands, i'll be a frosh as you guys graduate...i'm trapped here, hanging out with kids who i knew as freshmen, who are now juniors, but i don't mind that so much, but still...you know? I miss a lot of things. And what makes it worse is that someday when i do get back, it'll be a strange place, and no one will recognize me, and i'll have a hard time remembering everything that happened...you know, that second part of your post, the one i'm commenting on now, it really woke me up and straightened me out...i thought maybe it's time to get over high school at zobel, but now i see that it's the only way i can remember myself sometimes...so i can't let go of it. i wonder if i'm being too emotional about it? (Reply to this) (Thread)