|Current mood:|| bitchy|
|Current music:||Lizzie McGuire|
too damn gullible to live
yeah so i was almost fine today. except the whole sick thing. i forget i'm dying once in a while and had a quick conversation with jamie (he wished me a happy early birthday... thanks jamie, i love you so much for it). but then clayton called and as fine was things were going, he had to spin another yarn on me. i mean, it sounded ridiculous but after you keep the same piece of information in play for 20 minutes... you think you get tired if it's just a JOKE. but i get caught up in his lie unknowingly, and only find this out when he goes "yeah so that was all a lie" and hung up. when he called a little later i didn't say anything. it was a touch subject, about babies, that's all i'm going to say. THAT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY. cuz i'm boiling over this. i hate that he can lie to me so easily... it makes me think what else he's lying about. no one has ever lied to me this much. i can't help it that i'm pissed, okay? i just dont' like being lied to, no matter if he confesses or not.
so now i'm in a not-so-fuzzy mood and i'm debating on whether or not to go to school tomorrow. i don't want to see my friends and have to deal with them asking about my absence at their bullshit soirees this weekend. i don't want to deal with clayton and get into a huge fight over him lying to me. i don't want to deal with welding. i don't want to have everyone go "oh my god i forgot it's your birthday!" and then proceed to spend the rest of the day apologizing. i don't want to go to english and face stohr for some reason... even if she did nothing at all. i just don't want to deal with anything. right now i'd feel so much more comfortable crawling up into a little rock by myself with a good book and my lonliness.
or maybe i can run away to hollywood and join the cast of lizzie mcguire. i'd get cool clothes and have a happy family and good friends. unlike you know... my life right now.
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