|Current mood:|| thoughtful|
|Current music:||Prince- Kiss and Raspberry Beret|
Ay me, for sad hours seem long..
I'm in a bit better of a mood. today was ok, in the grand scheme of things.
my friends are still reluctant to speak to me but megan however passed on the information that hil is now dating bryan storm, and yesterday at kristens, alysia and jeff were in a locked room together and she opened the door covered in a blanket. jesus christ, what a little slut! me and meg have no clue when she turned into this hormonal whore, and what triggered it. it's insane, honestly. i feel horrible cuz she's been one of my best friends for so long, but god almighty this is quite too far. geez.
anyway. katie finally talked to me for the first time since hil's party in bio. she asked if i was mad at her, so i lied and said no. and she said she was sorry and she's been ignoring everyone lately and didn't even notice. by the end of class i didn't much care about it anymore, but i'm still sort of disappointed in what she says about steve. steve is way too great of a guy to get dissed like that. i'm at least glad to say i didn't see any emails from my mom on stohr's desk this morning.
and the rest of the day was kind of senseless. i didn't talk much to clayton for reasons i can't explain. i feel like i need space today-- i didn't want to talk to anybody, i just wanted to THINK. cuz i like to think. even though i talked to paige a lot cuz i miss our talks and i needed some new music to listen to, so she recommended a few good ones. i wish i talked to her more, she gets it. ya know? no, i suppose you don't... i don't even understand whatever it is between me and paige.
so then i went to track and i have to say, i've improved in the last week. even uzzy and mike west were patting me on the back-- of course, only after 3 days of chastising me for not bending down far enough and still "throwing" too much. i can't wait for the meet now. i'm excited. after practice i went down to the trib and watched mom play around with adobe, and when we were leaving clayton was waiting outside. i was kind of mad about it... i mean i offered to give him a ride if he coudln't find another one home, but i was really just hankering to go home and chill. we stopped at the grocery store where i got my stuff for making chocolate chip cookies, and then got a new magazine, and dropped off clayton, and came home. i made a batch of cookies and looked through my magazine and for some reason, out of nowhere, i got inspiration. for a new story. it's about a girl (i don't know her name yet), who gets this summer writing assignment from her next teacher (she's going to take creative writing), and she has to pretend that every week, so goes somewhere new in the world. i guess it's kind of therapy for me-- i'm picking 14 places i wish i could go-- one for ever week of summer i'm off-- and i'm going to pretend i'm there and make up a brand new experience. i'm thinking places like orange county ca, new york, london, paris, tokyo, cancun, rome, somewhere at a cabin in the middle of the woods, florence, australia... exotic places, different places, places i wish i could really go to. i think it'll be fun. i'm hoping i get my writing groove back, so my mom and stohr will stop conspiring against me. it makes me excited, it makes me happy.
anyway. must go study for my romeo and juliet test tomorrow. oh gosh, i just want to write right now, but i can't. was i always this happy with a new story?
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