Manic Butterfly (manicbutterfly) wrote, @ 2004-04-16 06:28:00

Current mood:

bitter

My Heart is Black. I Hate You All.


"I've been sittin' here
Tryin' to find myself
I get behind myself
I need to rewind myself
Lookin' for the payback
Listen for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me
And now I feel like number one
Yet I'm last in life
I watch the younger ones
And it helps to pass the time
I take too many pills to help to ease the pain
I made a couple of dollar bills still I feel the same
Everybody knows my name
They say it way out loud
A lot of folks fuck with me
It's hard to hang out in crowds
I guess that's the price you pay
To be some big shot like I am
Out strecthed hands and one night stands...

People don't know about the things I say and do
They don't understand about the shit that I've been through
It's been so long since I've been home
I've been gone, I've been gone for way too long
Maybe I forgot all things I miss
Somehow I know there's more to life than this
I said it too many times
And I still stand firm
You get what you put in
And people get what they deserve
Still I ain't seen mine...

I've been giving just ain't been gettin'
I've been walking that there line
So I think I'll keep on walking
With my head held high..."


I don't know how I always end up so... Lucky. It's not like I go out looking for these freaks. I am not on some great quest for love or companionship. Yet it seems that around every blind corner lurks another one. About the time I have almost gotten rid of Psychofuck #1, Psychofuck #2 rolls into the picture (see previos post).

And then I have all this shit to deal with in the "Real World" with work and The Family and the upcoming wedding... And then there is J.... J doesn't work. Doesn't want to work. And I don't think has any real intentions of working. But then again, why should she??? She is almost 30 years old and lives at home with her mother rent free, driving a truck that was given to her, and having me pay for every other god damn thing under the sun. And I am drowing and going under because of it. I struggle enough to take care of myself and my babies - then add her into the equation that takes and takes and takes and I am about out of ANYthing to give... It becomes a maniacal crunch at the end of the month to get everything paid on time - if at all... But that is of little to no concern to her. (Let me just bitch a little here.)

I am just sick to death of all these fucking Vampires. When is it my fucking turn??? When do I get a break and have someone take care of me - or at least contribute SOMETHING (anything) - instead of me taking care of the whole god damned world like I have for the last 28 fucking years. I want my own Diana Ross moment. But in order to do that, I am basically going to have to tell everyone in my life as I know it to Fuck Off... Which - in all honesty - would be the best thing I could do...

Maybe I just revel in being unappreciated... Gives me something to bitch about.

	krazygirl 2004-04-17 15:51 (link)
	It's simple. Because you, like me, are a magnet for LOSERS. You just need to tell J to start paying for her own shit. Cause as long as you pay for her stuff she has no reason to get a jobby job. And why in the name of the Goddess are you hanging out with someone who takes advantage of you like that? Kick her in the ass. Am I gonna have to come kidnap you for a week? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mj (Anonymous) 2008-06-27 20:46 (link)
	runescape money runescape gold runescape money buy runescape gold buy runescape money runescape money runescape gold wow power leveling wow powerleveling Warcraft Power Leveling Warcraft PowerLeveling buy runescape gold buy runescape money runescape items (Reply to this) (Thread)

handmade oil paintings (Anonymous) 2008-08-08 02:08 (link)

Please contact me at lcwujc@hotmail.com if it bothers you. Thomas Kinkade Evening on the Avenue painting Thomas Kinkade Deer Creek Cottage painting Thomas Kinkade cottage by the sea painting Thomas Kinkade Cobblestone Christmas painting Thomas Kinkade Cobblestone Brooke painting Thomas Kinkade Christmas Moonlight paintingThomas Kinkade Christmas Evening painting Thomas Kinkade Cannery Row Sunset painting Thomas Kinkade Besides Still Waters painting Thomas Kinkade Abundant Harvest painting Thomas Kinkade A Holiday Gathering painting John Collier Horace and Lydia painting Caravaggio Boy with a Basket of Fruit painting Bartolome Esteban Murillo Inmaculada Museo del Prado painting Bartolome Esteban Murillo Inmaculada de Soult painting George Frederick Watts Sir Galahad painting George Frederick Watts Love And Life painting childe hassam In a French Garden painting Edgar Degas The Orchestra of the Opera painting Edgar Degas Song of the Dog painting Edgar Degas Beach Scene painting Edgar Degas Ballerina and Lady with a Fan painting Edgar Degas At the Milliners painting Frida Kahlo Without Hope painting Frida Kahlo Thinking about Death painting Frida Kahlo Sun and Life painting Frida Kahlo Still Life with Parrot painting Frida Kahlo Self Portrait with Loose Hair painting Frida Kahlo Self Portrait with Braid painting Frida Kahlo Portrait of Dona Rosita Morillo painting Frida Kahlo Portrait of Diego Rivera painting Frida Kahlo Naturaleza viva painting Frida Kahlo Memory painting (Reply to this) (Thread)