| Current mood: |  lonely |
| Current music: | Johnny Cash "I Still Miss Someone" |
I still miss someone
I've been doing so well not thinking about him. I was so proud of myself, whenever he popped into my head I made myself busy or just totally pushed him out. Tonight...I don't know what my problem is tonight. I can't sleep, and all I can think about is him. I miss him so so so much. I want nothing more than to lay in his arms, I want to feel his warmth and know that everything is going to be alright. I need him to look into my eyes and make me feel that warm safeness you only feel with that special someone. I can't stand being without him. I miss his smile, his quick wit, his loving carresses, his goofy facial expressions, his nervous giggle, I miss him.
Why is breaking up this hard? I didn't do anything wrong, I was so good to him.... why do I have to hurt? I feel like nothing will be right again, nothing will be fullfilling, nothing will make me smile the way I do with him.
I know in my head that there is someone else out there for me, but my heart longs for him. I have a date Saturday night, but it seems pointless. We will go out- he will have some huge personality quirk and I will only be further reminded of how perfect Austin is. I really am not being all that picky either, normal guys don't go for me- only guys with huge egoes, or anger issues, or spoiled snotty rich boys, or guys who follow me around and drive by my house are ever attracted to me. No lie, outside of Austin, and one guy who is a close friend now, I have not had a single decent prospect.
I just want to be with him, or over him. I miss knowing that there was that special someone waiting for me when I get off of work, knowing that he is there for me and adores me- but most of all I just miss Austin. I miss the way Austin's eyes slant down on the outside, and the shallow teal color of them. His big pouty lips and goofy, but inviting smile. I miss his connected earlobes, and the way he gets all red and splotchy after one beer. I miss his thick dirty blonde hair and the smell of his cologne. I miss his round little nose and his big strong hands and the way he would hold mine and make me feel petite. I miss that place where his neck and shoulder meets, you know, that perfect place to tuck your head. I miss his ugly all star high-top sneakers and holey jeans. I miss the kisses and the hugs and the glances and the carresses. I miss his rounded chin and squishy cheeks. I miss the way he says my name, even when he's mad at me- he just has this way of saying it. I miss his baby smoothe skin and gentle way of touching me. I know this all seems cheesy and lame- but I really do love every little, goofy, quirky, unique, silly feature of that boy.
I heard this Johny Cash Song today and it totally reminded me of how I am feeling......
I STILL MISS SOMEONE
by John R. Cash and R. Cash, Jr.
At my door the leaves are falling
A cold wild wind has come
Sweethearts walk by together
And I still miss someone
I go out on a party
And look for a little fun
But I find a darkened corner
because I still miss someone
Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes
I see them every where
I miss those arms that held me
When all the love was there
I wonder if he's sorry
For leavin' what we'd begun
There's someone for me somewhere
And I still miss someone
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 | 
 saintanthony
2003-06-19 00:43
(link) | |
"There's hope in the darkness, I know you're gonna make it." Savage Garden There's nothing I can do to comfort your pain, and I'm not saying I know exactly how you feel, but I feel like I'm in the same shoes as you right now, walking a path of lonliness, but not really knowing where I'm going, or where I'll end up. I am going to post your song you found though, I feel like a country song right now. It's my own fault, I sit here and let these feelings take over me, feeling sorry for myself. But what else can I do? She won't take me back, she told me to my face, "She's pefectly content with 'him' right now." That hurts so much. Atleast she still loves me, she tells me everday. Why isn't that enough? Shows you how much I know about love. *sighs* "Another ditch in the road, keep moving, another stop sign, you keep moving on, and the years go by so fast, some fortress built to last, wonder how I ever made it." I know this song isn't talking about being left, or dealing with not having the love of your life, in your life, but who cares what the artist meant, I just hope I make it. (Reply to this) (Thread) |
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