|Current mood:|| confused|
|Current music:||My Chemical Romance|
Ok, last night was a good night, but now I'm confused as ever. At around 8:30 last night, Molly called my cell phone. She told me to hurry up and get to Stevie's house cuz Craig was in town and he was asking about me and wanted to see me. I talked to him real quick, and he said that I really needed to go cuz he wanted to hang out with me. So Ash was being so awesome, and she drove me into town to Stevie's place. When we got there, Breann had showed up and it was cool just hanging out and having a beer. Craig was there, but he kept leaving the room. Molly was trying so hard to hook us up, but we were both being shy. She went outside with him, and he told her that I was "intimidating". I was like, "I'm the intimidating one?" But yeah, when I met Stevie's dad, Wes introduced me as Meghan, and her dad goes, "OOOH... so YOU'RE Meghan!" and it made me feel a little weird that he had heard about me. But I felt good at the same time.
So I started drinking so I would become more brave, and after a little while, Rose took me and Craig to the gas station to get more beer (Craig is that fire fighter guy who's 20 something), and I sat in the back and I put my head forward on the head of his seat, and he was rubbing my head and just touching me very sweetly. We got back to the house, and we were outside on the porch, and I was standing next to Craig, and he had his arm around me, and I had mine around his. He was rubbing my back and I was just thinking about how nice it felt to be liked. We went in the house, and we were sitting at the table, and I was leaning against Craig and Stevie's dad said something about puppy love. And I was just thinking, "Who said anything about love?" But yeah, then I went to the bathroom, and when I came out and walked by the kitchen, Craig passed me another beer. It was funny. But Ash said that we had to go cuz she had to work in the morning, so I said goodbye to Stevie's dad, and Craig followed us to the car. He was holding my hand and helping me walk, and it was so sweet. Then when I got to the car, he kissed me. We were there for a minute, and he kept saying that I should stay. Then we kept kissing, but I finally pulled away cuz we really had to go. I called him later when I got to Ash's, and he would have come over, but he was so drunk that he couldn't drive. But it still felt nice. I had asked him his intentions on the phone, and he said that he didn't just want to sleep with me; that he really liked me and thought I was cool.
Now on to the bad part of the story.....
I called Joe cuz he was supposed to come see us at 10, and when I called, he said that he couldn't do anything cuz he "had shit to do." So I kept bugging him, being the drunk loser I am, and he started yelling at me. I asked him if by "having shit to do" he would be sleeping with his girlfriend. He didn't saying anything except, "I HAVE SHIT TO DO!!!" Then he proceeded to say that , "I don't wanna do that with you." And I got defensive and yelled "WTF is wrong with me?" and then he goes, "DID I SAY ANYTHING WAS WRONG WITH YOU? NO! I SAID I DON'T WANNA DO THAT WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!!!" And after that I was about ready to cry, and so I was just like "Fine, whatever, bye" and hung up. WTF was that about? I thought he liked me, but apparently not at all! Now it's like, do I let myself get close to Craig? He lives in Reno, but he's going to be moving to Susanville, so what do I do? I don't wanna be hurt again. I have enough fucking scars.
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