|Current mood:|| confused|
|Current music:||matchbox 20 - could i be you|
hey, its me again. like you couldnt tell. anyways, so i met this chick at school, an old co-worker from pre-sasha days. and she seems to be interested in me, which is cool. but at the same time, i dont want to get screwed over again. so i'm trying to be hella cautious, cause though she's hot as hell, i'm not lookin for a wham bam thank you ma'am type thing. if i get involved with someone, in any form, i get way attached. so i'm trying to give off the hint that i like her, but i'm staying away for the most part because i dont want to get hurt. god knows, that'd be the straw that breaks the camels back. i want someone to be with soo bad, but i dont know if i can take another relationship going south, especially if it ended in gettin cheated on again. so i'm thinkin i'm gonna try to talk to her one-on-one tomorrow night, seein as i dont have her #, which is kindof my bad, seein as i didnt have the balls to ask for it last thursday. i dunno...i also dont wanna get my hopes up in case all she does want is a physical thing. not that i wouldn't love to do that, but it'd tear my heart to pieces again, and it's not even close to being all back together after the past few years. i'm just so afraid to open up again... even just thinkin bout her makes my heart race. am i going to fast? am i making a mistake? hopefully i'll have a better idea after tomorrow night. anyways, i'm gonna try to get some sleep anyways. i dunno, this damn weather, time of year, and bein away from the boys...and having noone here to hold...is killin me. anyways, time to stop before i throw in some overly personal thoughts and feelings that the world doesnt need to know about. much love goes out to my boys. god i miss and love you 2 soo much!!!!! i'll either be there with you soon, or get you back here soon. i love you nate and nic.
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