Maegs (maegs) wrote, @ 2003-12-12 23:35:00

Decisions
You define perfection. Thanks for sending the text messages to my phone when you knew I was on my way home. And it was nice of you to talk to me while all your guy friends were over. You might think those things don't matter, but they do.
You made a decision today. You chose me. I'm choosing to trust.

in case u don't really get all that, joey & i are together now. he's the first thing to make sense to me in a long time.
existentionalists believe that making any decision -- even if it turns out badly -- is better than making no decision at all.
cooper gets weirder by the day, but i love him for it.
am i supposed to keep me & joey secret? i dunno. i'm scared to tell ashtray b/c i think she would be upset. i'm scared to tell ryke, too. and i'm very afraid to tell frank. y? i am undecided. i have no clue how ryke will react -- will he laugh & be his normal, giggly self? or will he just say "oh...okay" like he does sometimes to piss me off? and there's no telling what frank will do. he'll probably say "oh well congratulations -- see, there IS something in ur life worth envying!" then behind my back he could say "damn american girl and her joey." hey, u never know.
i'm effin tired, i tell u! stayed up til 4 talking to joey, and all day i've been experiencing micro-sleep. *looks around* when did i...?
it's really painful knowing that he could call any moment. like now. or at 12. or at 2. but i dunno when. so i dunno when to expect the call. therefore, i cannot wait for a time to come, i only wait for a phone call. not b/c i couldn't call him or b/c he promised he'd call (which he did), but b/c he's hanging out w/his guy friends tonight, and who am i to bother him while he's w/his pals? eventually i'll butt in and ask to watch the football games w/them or something (b/c we all know i dream of being a football star -- literally), but since we just got together, i'll give it time.
speaking of a phone call, i just got one. so this will be my exit.

note: as much as i hate to admit, Christina's new song "The Voice Within" is inspiring.

note: buy more Van Morrison albums.

truly true -- Maegs