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fuck up (m1dn1ghtsun) wrote,
@ 2003-06-03 12:24:00
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    Current mood: drained
    Current music:negative

    why am i so stupid?
    yeah so in the big house for kids that should learn. in the library during lunch with kai. everything is getting fucked up. I dont think that Im coming back next of st.joes. whatever. brittany goes there and shes one of the few people that i actually care about. which is sad that i can actually make a list of people that i like or that i dont like. everythings so screwed. and im grounded. its like now im breaking down for no reason. just for the thrill of falling apart. I dont really understand whats happeneing. last night i spazzed and i told tim about it. he was the only person i could think of... i guess. i dont know. i was afraid to tell doug because he hashis own shit to deal with and he didnt neeed to hear my garbage. because truly i dont think its of any importance to him. why should he care anyway? im just a waste of fucking time. im a waste of good oxygen. kind of sitting here waiting to be called down to the office because we're supposed to see sister peggy about this stupid ass detention that me and kai got from fuccillo b.c of gay homework. and im hurting. god everythig hurts. i hate how i act so stupid when i dont know what to do. not only am i weak against other people, im weak against myself which is pathetic. im so pathetic. such a fucking waste whatever...if u care...tell me what your comment im guessing.

    love me

    she wants someone to see her

(Post a new comment)

2003-06-03 13:38 (link)
aww, i care babe! :)
you're not stupid. ;/

i can definitely relate though.
don't be so hard on yourself.

i'm always here for you!
-hugs- feel better.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

2003-06-03 14:22 (link)
thanks for caring...and yeah i am stupid. i guess its cool that you can relate but at the same time it sucks because its not a good feeling =/ thanks for being there.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

2003-06-03 18:23 (link)
kayla.. why didn't you tell me? you know i care about you so much and i hate to see you like this.. i knew something was wrong today.. you know you can tell me anything.. and you're coming back next year you're not leaving me i need you here with me.. and u know i care about you.. and ugh kayla now i'm sad.. don't leave me please.. please


(Reply to this) (Thread)

2003-06-03 20:06 (link)
oh jeez. janine i dont want to leave but my mom really doesnt like me =( and of course you knew something was wrong..u always know thats why ur my best friend silly. dont get sad over more wasteing time. i know u care and i care about u 2...lov u
mr scooter?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

2003-06-04 18:50 (link)
is something my fault? it seems as if you don't wanna tell me anything.. i want to help you kayla i'm not wasting my time.. you're my bestfriend i need to know what's wrong you can't just not tell me.. you know you can't and i need to know.. i need to.. kayla you don't understand.. i feel like you don't want to tell me shit.. i'm sorry? i didn't mean anything i just want to know why you're sad.. you amke me sad when you're sad and the last thing we need is >b>more sadness.. kayla i love you.. i'm sorry.. i'm sorry our lives are shit i wish i could make it up to you.. maybe buy you a new family.. or new friends.. friends that aren't like me.. friends that don't break promises.. that prolly sounded completely not how i wanted it to sound.. :| i wouldn't be surprised if you didn't tell me what was wrong.. maybe that'd why you're not telling me?... omg i'll shut the fuck up now.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

2003-06-04 22:05 (link)
neen listen to me. its not ur fault dont be sorry. never apoligize becuase ur the best friend i have ever had. its noy about u and i really just dont feel like talking about it right now. im sure that soon enough you'll know everything, u really are my bestfreind and i can tell u anything. you just have so much shit going on right now i dont want u to worry about me. neeny i lov u so much. thanks for everything u've done. and im sorry ur lives are shit too. but some people are just luckier than others...everything will get better soon...until then...remember that im always here and i lov u

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