| Current mood: |  thoughtful |
| Current music: | perfect circle |
if you have time..
My job just got SO MUCH BETTER!!!
I always felt so pressured to sell, sell, sell, get those numbers up! Sell those replays, reservations, get profit, sell phones, SELL YOUR SOUL! But now, none of that matters anymore. All they're concerned with is revenue, and cherry pick rate and all that jazz. So, I still need to sell, but now I can sell what people want to buy, instead of some stupid freq. shoppers card... CD's! And tons of em. I couldn't do it before because it made our profit percentage go down. But now.. now I will have fun! And I did. today. Joking around with people's awesome, and I hate them a lot less since they have no reason to say no to me.. since I'm not selling them anything.
Plus I get a sweet discount, free CD's, posters, electronics that have gone waaaaaaay on clearance to practically the point of free, I get to talk to a lot of people and just hang out... plus it's pretty easy, considering how much I'm getting paid to do what I do.
Man, I'm a shithead for doin all that complaining before. I'm lucky as hell. :) Yay.
I'm also on my way to a better edumacashion. I finished my college essays. You have nooooo idea how good it felt to get them out of the way. And I'm pretty happy with them, too. Both my parents liked them, and so does my English teacher.. whos opinion probably has the most weight. The only thing I need to do now is take my SAT so I can finish applications.. send in transcripts with SAT scores and such.
My counselor said I'd most likely get into Uni of North TX and Southwest pretty easily, but I need a good SAT score for a&m or UT. I'm going to study my ass off, do all that crap they gave me in the prep class, and maybe borrow some more books from Aly to help me. I NEED TO DO GOOD. I want my life to go somewhere. I need it to.
It's just so frustrating knowing that you're pretty intelligent, but not having proof of it due to a lack of motivation, laziness, etc, causing poorer grades than you know you're capable of. So hopefully my essay(s) will encourage these admissions people, and hopefully a miracle will happen and give me a blessedly good SAT score.
And that's enough about that.
There's so much running through my head right now about so many different things. The most prominent one right now is about time. My friend Thad told me last night, "Time is just an illusion. It's a logical process our brain follows." It seems like such an easy explanation, but I just never thought of it that way. I just always complained, mostly silently to myself, about how time went too fast and even if I enjoyed every moment of the good times, they'd be gone before I even got to savor it. Even with that said, I still live in the past. I try to live in the now, but the now comes too quickly.
But, I thought about it a lot today, and I think I've come to a happy medium. I still wear a watch, but time really doesn't mean anything. It hardly even exists. Saying "I'll live in the now and enjoy it" is one thing, DOING it is another. And I'm doing it. If you don't even think about the passing of time, it's like it never even passes.. because before you know it, you're doing the same thing again. You'll have to say goodbye to someone, but in a matter of no time (no pun intended) you'll see them again. Two weeks ago feels like two seconds ago. That's how it always is and always will be. You change, but it all just kind of flows together to where you feel almost completely together. Not always, you need the right perspective.. and that isn't always easy to get.. but that feeling of togetherness is pretty nice when it comes. as rare as it is. I felt it for about five seconds today. Or what felt like five seconds. It could be five minutes.. hours.. they've passed already, so it doesn't matter now does it?
If you've read this, you've spent about 5 minutes of your life reading something you'll forget in 5 days. But right now.. NOW, it might mean something. At least it does to me.
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