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I'm just a singer, you're the world (lunasueno) wrote,
@ 2006-08-31 13:38:00
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    Current mood: indifferent

    Musings of a college girl
    I'm offically a college girl. I've had cafeteria food for all three meals, I've had an away message up all day saying stupid things like "doing hw" "in my dorm", and I've worn nothing but old jeans all week. Yes, this is college...

    But I like it a lot! People call me Jillian here, which makes me seriously beam everytime I hear someone say it. Haha, new beginnings, I love it. My classes are sooo much work though, seriously, nothing like highschool, but apparently I have the tough teachers. Lucky me. The roommates are awesome, one is a combination of Manni and Mandy F and the other one is a little of Danielle and my sister's friend Ashley...its pretty weird. So far, we've walked to dinner through white water rapids because the bridge we have to walk across was completely flooded, had a funeral for this girl's hermit crabs, and ran around the baseball fields in the rain at night. This college is weird, what can I say?

    It's not perfect though, not even close, and this is one of my problems. I really will not let myself be unhappy. I know that can be a good thing, but yesterday when I resisted flipping out for the millionth time this month, I wondered, how much can I keep in? How much longer can I not feel upset about Adam and I? Cause I don't anymore, not because I'm not, but I cannot even go there. How much longer can I be indifferent to the fact that I left a wonderful life behind and it's probably only going to go downhill from here? I'm sick of being the optimist. Actually, I think this is called stress. Yeah, that's it.

    This is our last goodbye
    I hate to feel the love between us die.
    But it's over
    Just hear this and then I'll go:
    You gave me more to live for,
    More than you'll ever know.

    Well, this is our last embrace,
    Must I dream and always see your face?
    Why can't we overcome this wall?
    Baby, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all" -Jeff Buckley

    Um, did he go out with Adam too?

    So for now, since I can't seem to dig deep enough the express what I feel, I'll let Jeff Buckley do the talking for me...it's probably for the best anyway, that man was a genius.



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