|Current mood:|| cheerful|
I've got nothing to do today but smile :)
Today I worked in the greenhouse that has no walls so your basically standing outside but you're completely sheltered at the same time. So while there was a massive downpour going on right above me, I stood there with a knife the size of a dagger in my hand disecting poor innocent hyacinths that were being mutated by gray puss all the while singing, "Paint it black" at the top of my lungs to the creepy dark sky above. And as I poised my knife to chop of the newly buded head of a particularly disgusting infested hyacinth, a wave of real satisfaction about what I was going to do passed over me and I realized, "Jill, you're a freak, there's a little bit of psychopath in all of us, isn't there?"
However yesterday I was as carefree and happy as I've ever been. I got home and layed on my roof for hours not doing anything really but watching cars and listening to the neighbors. Then I serenaded my mom with my awesome guitar skills and as if it couldnt get any better, molly calls and says that we're going to Kerry's...that always means a good time. And so it was. I got a beautiful manicure too! So now I'm really high, it can't get any better because now I'm headed to my house again for dinner with my grandparents...but no, even that was wonderful and fun. And as I went to bed that night, the only prayer I got out before drifting off to sleep was, "Thank you God for all these amazing people in my life. There's nothing more important to me than them."
Unfortunely my body has different priorities. So it's finally happened. I've burned myself out and there's not much I can do about it. It's been a long time coming. And eventhough it feels like another one of my "non-alcoholic hangovers," I wouldn't trade the musical experience or staying up all night to finish my ss project so I could have fun at the jazz band thing, hanging w/ my friends eventhough I was dead tired, or going to the mall for hours today for anything. Memories are priceless and I'm going to treasure these past two weeks for the rest of my life.
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