|Current mood:|| sad|
Out of all the people in the world, I think there are 2 people who truly get me and 4 people who try their best to understand me but just have no chance whatsoever.
To those 6 people, thankyou for caring....It's the best compliment I could ever recieve.
Speaking of compliments, how would you like to hear, "you're just one of those people who have no enthusiam for life." "You look depressed." "Are you even trying?"
Um, ever read this journal? I cant even count how many times I've said that my life is amazing. So what if its not? I think having a retarded, thinks-he's-really-funny instructor ignoring you all night is a reason to, God-forbid, not smile for a second. I think having an ear problem and going to the doctor for a year would make anyone cring when freakin Dr. Beat is hooked up to a speaker in back of your head. I think getting over a cold would make anyone look a little out of it. I think trying to break up with your boyfriend would make anyone look a little stressed out. I think having to finish at least 7 days of summer assignments in 3 days would make anyone stressed out. And lastly, I think having to go to stupid band camp for two entire weeks when you could be sitting out at your pool would make anyone downright depressed.
And yet, if he was a nice enough person to get to know me, he would realize that even through all of this, I'm the kind of person who would say...Isnt life great? All these little problems are going to be solved in about a month and then life will move on and you'll deal with new ones. It's a vicious circle, but it makes you feel alive. I'm glad to be living.
All my life people have come up to me and told me that, "you're too quiet, you're too shy," like these comments were nice things to say, like they were compliments! Somebody even wrote in my year book in 3rd grade, "you're shy, have a good summer." If only they knew that it's comments like that that translate in my mind to, "you're incompetent"...
It's stupid too because the only people that say this are the people who have met me once or twice in their lives. I've made huge efforts to overcome the shyness thing and everyone i meet now doesnt even notice that i'm quiet. It's just once in a while, I get tested by certain people...I'm not going back to how I used to be, I've come too far. I just wish everyone knew that.
Now I am sad. Thanks a lot jerkface.
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