Lance Bass (luckybasstard) wrote, @ 2003-07-23 08:11:00

Current mood:

dead

*blinks awake, shivering. The light is too bright and he closes his eyes again. He looks around and realizes that he had fallen asleep in the bathtub. Getting up, he reaches for a large plush towel and wraps around his trembling, cold body. Before stepping out of the cold water, he reaches down and pulls the stopper out of the drain. Rubbing his arms to get warm, he mutters under his breath about taking sleeping pills after baths instead of before. His pruny skin is saturated with water, and he carefully puts his clothes back on. Careful to be quiet, he sneaks into his bedroom to grab some clothes and runs back to the guestroom before Jen can wake up*

I can't believe what I've done. And. The way he looked at me. I never thought I would be on the receiving end of that look. Not from him. I want to say I know what he must be feeling, but I couldn't say that for sure. I don't feel things like he. And I hurt him. Bad. Things are different. I went looking for trouble. Guess I found it good and well. I want to make it all better, make it up to him, but how could I ever? Why should I even get a second chance? I hurt him. I could see it so clearly. Just the look in his eyes. He asked me if it was payback. God, no, of course not. I got passed that. I've forgiven, but this is different. This was Lance being, yes, you've guessed it, stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

And God, Jen and Chris. I still don't know how they don't completely hate me. I still feel like I should've been hit. Really hard. In painful places.

Christ, what the hell was I thinking? He's everything to me. Everything and I ruined it. Fucked it up like everything else. All I can say is, I'm sorry. To everyone involved. Everyone who knows. Feel free to just severe all ties with me if you want, I deserve it. Don't say I don't. I know I do. You know who you are.





*ignoring his growling stomach, pulls out the bottle of sleeping pills from the night before, just taking some dry. He slides under the covers of the guestbed, curled up under the sheets, trembling slightly as he slips into a fitful sleep*

	mlovato 2003-07-23 10:05 (link)
	What happened? I'm always out of the loop. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: luckybasstard 2003-07-23 21:36 (link)
	I'd actually not get into it. NOt right now and not here were others can see. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chriskeeto 2003-07-23 10:20 (link)
	had to use like. the worst picture of me you could find. damn. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: luckybasstard 2003-07-23 21:35 (link)
	Well, we all pretty bad. So I think that's okay./ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

jennee_garth 2003-07-23 10:53 (link)

*Her eyes flutter open trying to focus on her surroundings....the events of the day before begin to fill her mind...she gets up and notices the bathroom door finally opened then makes her way to the guest room seeing Lance sleep. She walks over to the bed and carefully sits down making sure not to wake him..she pulls the blankets around his shoulders then leans down to place a kiss on his forehead. She leans back...watching him sleep she can see the anquish on his face...she leans down once again and softly speaks into his ear* Everything is going to be okay cutie pie...I promise...*making sure he's okay one last time she then turns and walks out of the room closing the door. She walks back into JC's room and grabs the phone off the nightstand...muttering to herself* Come on JC...pick up the phone....*without luck she hangs it back up knowing all that's left to do at this point is wait...* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_jc_chasez_ 2003-07-23 17:53 (link)
	:looks into the guestroom, having finally come back now that he had more time to think things through, watches you sleep, frowning softly as he remembers what Jen said, steps inside and lays beside you, his arms sliding around your body holding you tightly, voice soft: I'm sorry I ran...:presses a soft kiss to your neck, eyes closing: (Reply to this) (Thread)