Wonks (lucidnightmare) wrote, @ 2003-07-22 21:37:00

Current mood:	frustrated
Current music:	Frank Sinatra

[...everything here's about to break...]
I've done it again.
Done what you ask?
Done the inevitable.
Once again.
I didn't go to class regularly.
I got behind.
I have about 13 papers to write tonight.
Well...6...really...
And what's worse is that I know I have these things to do and I waste time talking to Daron, and Jesse, and Michael, and EVERYBODY.
I should buckle down...and take control...
But I think I might not care.

That's wrong isn't it? To not care.
I think that's wrong...right?

But it's hard to care about this...when my mind is on something else.
I'd rather just be in England. I know that's awful. That if I want to BE in England I should study harder.
Work harder.
But for some reason I'm just dead inside.
And I have no motivation, no drive.
What happened to me?
I feel like an empty shell.

Why do I do this to myself?

josiah 2003-07-23 04:34 (link)

I used to do the same thing in high school, and I still do it. I see the goal, and don't see the road to get there. I end up tripping because I forget to look where the next step should be. I think its why I got the 3.1 or whatever in high school instead of the 3.8 I could've gotten. What I didn't realize is that the important things in life can't be achieved all at once, you have to work to get them. Actually, I did realize that. I just didn't want to face it. So are you dealing with the same issue? I'm not sure you need to get good grades to be happily married. And you will be happily married. What turned it around for me was kind of strange. Two people I care about very much are sick, and I want to do the best I can because they've done the best they can for me. I also got ambitious... law school? Crazy! Then I got cocky, started thinking that I'm good enough to get straight A's, and it actually happened. All that said, I think you're ok, just a procrastinator by nature. At least you're working now. I had a few all nighters this semester because I was too distracted by a girl to do the work ahead of time. Since I've been single, my grades have gone waaay up. Such is life I guess. You'll be ok. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: lucidnightmare 2003-08-13 23:34 (link)
	I dunno...I know all this but I can never put it into practice...I can never take it to heart and just buckle down and decide to do it. I used to not be able to understand why people couldn't just do their homework. Now I don't understand why people DO do it. :( (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)