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OMG!!!!1! Thanks to that dude who wrote Lolita, Nabockey or something, he TOTALLY inspired this piece. I wrote it while drinking 2 gallons of mountain dew, so its' kind of crazy but i also think kind of touching and deep, pls read!!!!!!!1 I LUV U!!!! DUDDIEKINS/LOCKY 4-EVAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Dudley, my love, my beloved, my adored, my cherished, my sweetling, light of my life, fire of my loins! I love you so much! I could never dream of living without you! I'd simply die if anything happened to you! Please marry me. I cannot spend another moment away from you. I love you. I feel you deep in my heart. Your presence. It's like a part of me is complete that I never knew was unfinished." Gilderoy Lockhart swept into the room, cape sweeping dramatically behind him. His green eyes sparkled like limpid pools, and his grin always made Dudley's knees grow weak. He pursed his pouty lips and said, "Oh, Dudley!" Dudley looked down and blushed. "I... Gilderoy, I don't know what to say." At first he'd resented Gilderoy for working once at that school Harry went to... but now.. well, Gilderoy was just so gorgeous. And perfect. Dudley felt his heart melt when he looked at those long locks of his Locky, the colour of purest gold, perfect, flawless skin, and a smile composed of perfect white teeth. "Yes, Gildey.. I will marry you." He was so happy to be in the wizarding world now. You could practically marry a goblin if you wanted to. "And I'll be the happiest gay muggle boy there ever was. I love you too. I hope we spend eternity together.. no, eternity and a day!" He laughed with pure, heartfelt joy and leapt into his beloved's arms. His fat jiggled softly as he leapt. Gilderoy smiled, flashing gorgeous white teeth. He got down on one knee, holding out his hand dramatically. The box opened as if by magic, showing a crystal statue in the shape of a dragon... um, I mean... a glittering diamond ring. Dudley gasped and flew into Gilderoy's arms. "Oh, Gildy!" His lips found Gilderoy's; so soft, like rose petals pressed against his mouth. He sighed into his mouth. "I love you so much." "We'll be together forever," Gilderoy promised the younger man. "Just you see. We were made for each other. It was destiny." The ring was size 12, and did not fit Dudley's pinky. Gilderoy gave up on the ring bit. "So you mean it? You'll be my bride? I mean.." he looked down, almost embarrassed. "What is it?" Dudley asked tentatively. "Oh, Dudliums.. if only you knew." Gilderoy sighed softly. "I.. I had a fling once. With a student. She was in Gryffindor. I always wanted to tell you, but.." "OH NO!!! HOW COULD YOU???" Dudley burst into tears, turned on his heel, and ran from the room. "Griffindor!" he yelled to the Fat Lady, who smiled and opened the door. "Dear, what's wrong?" she said concernedly. "Locky..." Dudley sobbed, tears streaming from his eyes. "He... had an affair..." "Oh, that?" she said dismissively. "Everyone knows that was before your time." He stopped crying. "Really?" "Yes. Now, darling, go back and talk to him." "Okay." he sniffled. Gilderoy came in behind him and wrapped his warm, soothing arms around Dudley's waist, with some difficulty. "Yes, darling. I can't say too much... Ms. Sue was.. always special to me.. until the demons took her, anyway.. but I'm sure she's in a better place now." Gilderoy looked up through tears of pane & suffrin and smiled joyously. "Oh, Duddylicious, you are so precious. Let's forget all that. I love you more than I ever did her. I love you so much. Please forgive me." "Of COURSE I forgive you. I'm so devoted to you... you'll never even know." Dudley laughed and kissed Gilderoy's ear lovingly. "So should we get packed? Go now? Elope? Where shall we wed? Can I please please wear the dress?" He laughed. "It's always been a dream of mine." "You can." Lockhart kissed him again, then burst into tears at the sheer joy of the moment. Dudley put his arms around Lockhart, barely (his gut got in the way) and said "I want to look so beautiful at our wedding. Please, lend me some hairspray that I may use on the day of our wedding. It's a symbol of how together we both are. We even share the same hairspray." "Yes!" Gilderoy laughed heartily. "You're so intelligent, my darling. I can see why you never got along with that brat Harry." he winked, and Dudley nodded. "He always was the spoiled one of that family," Duds recalled quietly. "But anyway. We digress. On to happier things! Hairspray. Where is it, my cuddliekins?" Gilderoy smiled lovingly. "It's right by my Tori Amos cd, you know that. On my dresser." Dudley nodded, trotting fetchingly off to fetch it. They kissed again. It was like magic. Only without the wands. Though there were some of those later that evening, if you know what I mean. "We'll be together. Forever." whispered Dudley lovingly. A peal of thunder struck in the distance. TWO WEEKS LATER: "Duddy-wuddy-kins-the-love-of-my-life, have you seen my hairspray?" Panicking, Gilderoy tore through his bags. "It must be somewhere... I have to get the PAPER, Dudley!" he whined, not knowing where his wife/husband (wusbife? woobie?) was. "You know I can't go out the house without..." and suddenly, horror struck him. "DUDLEY?" He raced for the bathroom. That muggle stuff Dudley needed. Ritalin. He'd taken it this morning, right? RIGHT? He wasn't playing with matches again, right? WHERE WAS HIS HAIRSPRAY? WHERE WAS HIS DARLING? He ran towards the bathroom, dread increasing with every step. Just before he rounded the corner, there was a loud "BOOM!" and a flash of light. He was thrown back against the wall. Then, all was silent. Deadly silent. "...Duddie-kins?" he whispered into the ominous silence. Silence. "DUDDIE-KINS!" He ran into the bathroom, dreading the worst. It was gruesome. It was horrible. It was Gilderoy's worst nightmares all rolled up into one. He had lost his w00bie, his hairspray, and his ornate bathroom was completely ruined. Muggle-bits everywhere, and the smell was a mixture of chemicals, soap, barbecue, and twinkies. Lockhart knelt to the floor and wept for all that was lost. "DUDLEY!" he wailed. The bent, broken can of hairspray had no response. His heart itself bent and broke. He cried. THE END. <3 GildyDuddersBabyGrrrl <3 ps dont forget to r/r!!!!!!1
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