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.:+.Ir!na.+:. (lockedupinside) wrote,
@ 2003-03-16 20:19:00
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    Well, i made this hoping it would be somewhere where i can express my feelings and thoughts that i would not normally allow anyone to know. I feel so lost, and so scarred about everything. Everything that i used to love, and was so sure gone and makes no sence. The person i was in love with, and i knew love, now is done with me and i dont blame him. i thought that i didnt care what anyone thought about me, but apperantly i was not so secure. i dont really know when allt hsi happend, all i know is one day i was happier then i had ever been. for once in my life, i truly appreciated everybody and being alive; the next thing i know, i am drinking constantly(really ready to do anything fora shot), my grades are slipping, and the people who ment the world, mean barely anything. i am anarexic and balimic, and constantly weeping. everynight praying to die. im sick of my friends and their bs. i love them, eyt i want to get away fromt hem. i hate my parents, and they truly are..the worst. they dont even act as parents. i mean, since when does a mom go "i wish you were never born, i hate you, your a stupid selfish rotten bitch" etc... i am constantly groudned because of my grades and every little thing i say. i serisouly think as myself as a nobody, and see myself....i see my friends slipping away. i see him movign on, and at my reputation. i am a nothing. a worthless piece of shit, that should just die. i hate everthing, and yet i want so much for everything tog et beter. i cant believe how insecure i am,a nd how i long for popularity. its disguasting how material-istic i have gotten. im not even capebale of doing my hw. god im not going to make an hour-long ill update latar. who ever you are...please comment..just to knwo somebody bothered to listen to my complaints.

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2003-04-04 16:01 (link)


esta lisa.. WHEEE!

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