|Current mood:|| excited|
all that i wanted to hear from you, something of value, but something untrue
I'm really excited about Tuesday, a day which is starting to look like getting up, loading the car, waiting for my mom to come home, and then heading up to campus to move in, shopping for a few groceries, and crashing. I'm excited that I'm living in an apartment (Tamarack P), and I'm excited that the roommate I "met" online last night seemed to have a lot in common with me. I'm excited that I think we're going to get along very well.
I'm also nervous, because that's my way.
And I'm sad, because Dan and I are going to spend just one more day together, tomorrow, and then I go away. And I know he's sad and whatever else, but I don't know what the "whatever else" is, because he hasn't really talked to me about it. I know he wants to be supportive. And he's doing a great job, really.
I just took the dog out. The air is much chillier. It's fall soon...
Tonight I started piecing together a BOS. I'm proud of the accomplishment -- I got quite a bit done. I also made a CD and am in the process of making another. My last before I completely abolish Kazaa and my shared folder from my computer, because it takes up too much space and, from what I hear, doesn't work up at Ramapo anymore, anyway. I'm just waiting on five Yellowcard songs to download, ones I was referred to last night.
I have told Bill that I'd go to Monmouth tomorrow to meet him and help him set up his apartment. I miss him like crazy, and I know if I bring Dan, Bill will get a little bent out of shape, because he probably wants to see me by myself for awhile, so we can talk and catch up. I want to catch up with him, too, without having my boyfriend around. I don't want to seem like Dan and I have become Dan-and-Jess, a horrible two-headed beast you can never pull apart. I never wanted to be a couple like that.
So I figure I'll hang out with Bill for awhile, then check in with my baby, and probably have Bill drive me over there. Then I can spend the evening and night with the man in my life. And I'm going to stay out late with him, because I can sleep late on Tuesday. It's more important to me to get every last minute I possibly can with my baby. And he's mid-shifting on Tuesday, so it won't be that big a deal.
I have to get to bed soon, but I'm trying right now to download those last songs.
I don't know when I became so boring. It's probably because I only slept about four hours last night, and now I'm going on my twelfth hour on that sleep. It's not as bad as sleep deprivation I've had in the past, but my body isn't used to being sleep deprived, so I feel like I'm going to die. I'm going to bed.
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