I slept until two today, and I was still more productive than I've been in awhile. I made three CDs, wrote the first chapter of the story I've been trying to break through with for a long time, and begun to formalize plans for Rick purchasing this Ozzfest ticket, which hopefully will include a diner where I can eat some dinner. I'm doing a little better at saving money, so that's good. I've still got leaps and bounds to go in terms of getting to a place where I can save money for real, but...I'm getting better.
He and I have been talking, and I feel worse than ever about what happened. I can't believe I did something like that -- but at the same time, I'm at a loss for how to feel, because I'm not sad for how I ended up. I don't know how to handle this -- it's like real life exploded on me.
Where I felt like I'd never really lived a few months ago, now I feel like I just blew up everything that meant anything.
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