|Current mood:|| determined|
|Current music:||Simple Plan "Me Against The World"|
Things I Need To Do & Making Dreams Come True...
Well, I was listening to Simple Plan "Still Not Getting Any..." last nite and I started thinking alot. Ya know, this time next year, I will be in college. I don't even really know what I want to major in. I thought it was going to be Psychology but... I don't think I can really hang in there with that. I mean it's a cool course to take, but besides the course, I don't think I could delve deeper into it. Trying to keep this short, more than likely, it'll be something with technology or something because I'm pretty techno-savvy (not tooting my own horn. It's just that "thing" everyone has that they are good at). But if I did just do that, my life would be so boring. I knew that there was something else I wanted to do... I just couldn't think of it.
And then I remember how much I want to act. I love acting. I love the challenges of taking on different roles. And I have so much fun doing it. I wanna be in entertainment. I want to be where the stars are. I want to be famous. And I think I could really become a successful actor. Seriously. That's a dream I've always had. But I never really thought about pursuing it. It's always been "stable college career" type thing. And I'm starting to believe that's not all thats out there (how its' always been).
To get to the point, I don't want to go to college, get this "computer systems technican" career and wake up when I'm 40 and regret never going after my dreams. Never trying to achieve what I want to. I don't want it to be too late. I don't want it to pass me by. So I've decided that I'm going to go to a college around here for about a year or 2 (because I'm not ready to leave), and transfer my last 2 years to a bigger and better college. By then I'll be about 21-22 and I'm going to move to one of the big states (New York, California, etc.) and see if I can make. See if I can make it come true. Now, I'm only going to do this til I'm like 26 or 27 because I don't want to spend my entire life trying to get a job as an actor and never evolve in what I got when I graduated from college. I'm not saying that I'm going to give up, but after while, I need to come to terms and see if nothing is coming of it. If I don't make it, then it's okay. At least I can say I tried to make my dreams come true. That I just didn't let it pass me by.
So that's my first thing that came out of me hearing 2 lines on a song called "Jump". (haha, I'm such a dork). Then after hearing "Thank You", I've basically come to terms with, I gotta let some friends go. The friends who are no good for me, who drag me down, make me feel bad, or are always in a horrible mood. You know, that's half of my problem. I pick my friends for the wrong reasons. I wind up picking the bad ones and letting the good ones find me. But I tend to get close to the bad ones. None of those people read my blurty anyway but I need to start being around people who want to do something with their lives. Who want to get somewhere. Who doesn't just run away from things and do with you as they please (yes I'm talking about Ricky but about other people too). Im tired of it. I shouldn't have to put up with it. So I won't anymore. I'm not even emotionally attached to people like Ricky anymore. Take way too much energy. And the one way I know that this is somewhat different because when I use to talk about him, I was always either really angry or really sad. But it's dirt off my shoulder (haha) now.
When it comes down to it, I'm trying to get my life on the right track. I don't have time to play games with people. I'm tired of games. I'm trying to be happy and go for my dreams (which still include meeting Simple Plan again). Well it's late and I need sleep. Lata minna!
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