|Current mood:|| crushed|
|Current music:||nothing... a truly crushed state|
the innerworkings of the parent's mind
being that this is the first time i'm actually using my computer and the internet as a way of 'spiling my gutts', i guess i should be mindful of what i say. but then again, i'm not getting paid... crushed.. crushed is the feeling.. you know how when you feel so good about something and it happens and then something bad happens to ruin that good feeling? yea, it seems to happen a lot around here, and mainly when i get home. i get out of the house, do something, feel great, something puts me in a good mood, come home, get bitched at, end of that feeling. well today it was a little different. i mean, who doesn't lie? what god-forsaken teenager in his or her right mind does not fib just a tad bit? i mean, come on now.... and it's not like i'm NEW at it or anything...i do it all the time.. and i used to be so smooth about it. always getting around with everything.. but now after i do something, it's like my fingers leave chalk stains all along the furniture and walls that my parents sniff out and realize my unforgivable sin... and the unforgivable punishment? well it used to be the phone, now we've progressed to the car. but they partially punish themselves with this one since obviously driving me everywhere for the "rest of eternity" is not going to happen since they barely can do it now. well enough of that, what happened since i met Walker seems a blur. i haven't been able to wash off that sticky chalk paste that gets me caught all the time. (walker is my boyfriend, not a piece of chalk). like a new shoe, i bought it and wore it proudly, and even let my parents see him. but, something was missing. of course, being that my father is mafia wannabe italian godfather.... type... thing.... he'd probably shoot walker in the face if he knew that walker has so much as touched my waist. but like i said, my smooth lies that were so easy before are all meddled now with friends who don't like being 'used as excuses' and friends who don't know how to lie for even their bestest of friends.... the world is littered with this unexused excuses.... but the things i am capable of getting away with. i can spend the night at a guys house and not get caught but when i say i'm going to work and go hang out with my bf, what happens? it's the one day mom and dad decide lunch is on them.
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