|Current music:||Sick, Sad, Little World- Incubus|
Oh the bullshit!!!
So this whole entry is dedicated to all of those people out there that think too much!
"Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever change. Can I change? Will I change? ...or am I always gonna be the same?"
So I've been working at Fav's for a little over a year now, minus the whole break for FSU. I wake up in the morning, go into work and Say hey to Mike. I proceed to cut up Onions, Mushrooms, Lettuce, Tomatoes, and Green Peppers. I might then grind up sausage, and fill up the ice machine. Then defiantely clear out the dishes so that we have room for the china after lunch. I'll then bus table for about two hours until 1:15 or so, then I'll make myself lunch and go back to do the dishes. Afterward, depending on what Mike would want me to do, I'd either go home or stick around to do dough or meatballs or something like that. When I get home I sit down at my computer and talk to my Desiree for as long as possible until something presents itself for me to do. Usually going to drum or something along the lines there-of. Ok, according to this daily routine I do the same damn thing everyday of my life....oh wait no, I have weekends off which usually means I sit around and sleep. How does that give me room to change? How do I grow as a person? Is it the fact that we learn something new everyday? Or does it mean that I'm bound to get out of here some day? Who knows....I feel like I could be doing so much more with my life than just sitting around and cutting onions. For now though I'm stuck in borington doing nothing but what you see above....do I hate my life? No. Do I dislike it? Strongly. Would I change it? Absolutely, and I will as soon as possible. For right now though I think I'll just keep typing
"I came here expecting next to nothing, so thank you for being that kind of girl....."
How do I explain how I feel about her? Is it love? Obsession? or am I just that crazy about this girl. She makes me feel like nothing ever has before and I can't describe it at all....it's like a warm acceptance of life because I know that at the end of the day....she'll be there. Wow, nobody has ever cared about me like that before. I know there have been those that loved me, and those that would have risked everything for me....but this girl would go farther than that....I would bleed for this girl, and she knows it. I will be with her next year, and it's my final answer. Many people have asked me "What happens if you guys break up?" or "What happens if you decide that you want to go somewhere else?" ...guess what? It doesn't matter! If I lose her up there, it'll be much better than losing her down here. At least up there I'll be going to school and working towards a goal in life. Down here I'm just cutting onions.
"If this is right...I'd rather be wrong. If this is sight....I'd rather be blind"
What the hell is wrong with the world today? I mean wars going on, people killing each other over religious purposes, Violence in movies and Sex on TV? Gay people getting married, priests and Pop singer fondling little boys....this place is fucked up!!! I'm gonna find an island somewhere where those people aren't allowed. Only me and my friends will be allowed, and I'll have strict dictatorship over who goes and who stays. "What! you're gay now?...good bye"
"What! you're white now?...goodbye" ...you get the idea. So anyways, we all have to deal with the tyranny and bullshit that goes on around this god-forsaken planet so we might as well have a little fun while we're here. I'm gonna go drop a nuclear bomb on my neighbor cause his dog won't shut the hell up.
(and sorry about this entry...it kinda sucks)
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Okay to the first part of your entry. . .you can't start big, you gotta start small. There are far worse things in life then chopping onions everyday. Think of it this way, your helping to feed somebody, your cooking and from what I hear you're pretty good at it. You could be the guy that kills dogs every day at the humane society (no, not your neighbors). Behind every great man is a not so great past! So you cut onions, Einstein failed 3 grades, go figure! Life is as good as you make it. My life is pretty much the same every day too, I just have more drama. You WILL do so much more with your life, but right now you have to deal the hand that life gave you. We do learn something new everyday! "Be thankful for each day, you'll NEVER live it again!"|
As far as the other paragraph, you don't like the word "when", I don't like the word "if". . .let's just erase them both from our vocabulary. Warm acceptance of life, if I could just make you have the same appreciation. That's right, unfortunately for you I am still here and I will continue to be until you put the flame out in my torch and kick me off the island, and the tribe has spoken, BAM! I won't say "when" anymore if you quit playing the what if game. . .as momma always said "If if's and buts were candies and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful Christmas." I WILL teach you how to love life and I'll teach you how to have fun w/ it, but in due time young Jedi, due time.
Well now, now that this is DEFINITELY long enough, I'm gonna go to soccer practice now, she shoots, she SCORES! Bye baby, I hope your day gets better!
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