| Current mood: |  contemplative |
| Current music: | None for once |
Forever and ever and ever Fire
I wonder why we even try. Because it doesnt matter what you do to not piss anyone off they are bound to get pissed off at you for some reason anyways. Like their reason for being mad could be that you didnt do anything to make them mad. And where is the sense in that? And whats the point of ever being angry at anyone? It seems like a waste of time. Kinda like blaming things on other people, ill admit im the Queen of Blame, i think i should stop doing that, but it just feels like a waste of time. I say this as i sit in my room which desperatly needs to be cleaned. It screams to be cleaned. I dont know what keeps my body from moving and putting things away but that just seems to difficult. I spent my day inthralled in my Jude book, quite amazing and not written like any of her other books. I really do like it. I think i read ever chance i got today including during breaks in Mr. hudsons terribly long, terribly boring lesson on the Vietnam war. Quite dull. I then left that to go to drama, completly infuriated because of happenings during the assembly, where i was suppose to do my piece with Maygen but lo and behold she wasnt at school, and as typical we didnt get to do our piece. God help me when i have to rely on someone besides myself, its jsut so difficult. I feel in a constant spaz right now because of the fit i had over my Emerson Application which is in and fine but i fear that for somereason i wont be good enough for them or the acting people will want me and not the school or the school will want me but not the acting program. Which would be hell on wheels. Because then where would i be? I feel all over the place in some sort of rut, i dont quite feel like me except i feel exactly like me. And most of me needs to get away from quite a few people at school because i just dont want to be around them right now. And at the same time i do. I dont want to complain either because im really sick of it, which is complaining in itself so what the hell. i got the spirit day approved for my daddy so im hoping well get some money for the messiah now. And im really hoping some of my friends will vollunteer at the Messiah because then someone will come and see me. it would be really nice to have them hear it, even though i know its horribly boring from the audience, its quite beautiful to sing. And sometimes we will just blend in a certain song and there i am standing in the middle of it with the tenors infront of me and the sopranos to my left altos and basses to my right and its just really amazing. Quite powerful you can see why Handle was so brilliant. Those pieces just go into eachother and each part just fits. I wonder if it sounds as beautiful as that outside of it, like in the audience. Granted he did write the devil of all songs "all we liek sheep" which is a travesty in itself. But at the same time brilliant with all the "going astray" and "turned"s that are actually written in the piece to sound like we are walking away. On another note the drama shirts look beautiful at least i think so. ms b said they were plain. but screw that i think they are quite elegant. and funny ont he back. it looks liek a black rose shoudl be on it. I need to get that Dido song, and i want the outcast cd. And i dont know what to get people for christmas and as is the common delem: who to get gifts for. I need to get carlos something. Maybe chris. logan, i already made saras table, i think ill make nina her cookies, id like to get ms bryant and ms bruner something, and mom and dad. proably colte because hes gunna get me something, but i couldnt afford something nice enough for him so ill just ask him what he wants. He said hes spending his money on other people for christmas and i told him i want jewlrey. Lofty request but ya know. He asked. I dont expect that though. He really shouldnt get me anything. Chris and Carlos told me he just wants to sleep with me cuz then he can say he screwed a democrate. I thought that was funny but completly untrue. Im sure chris feels that way being republican and all. Oh i made a 90 on my enviro test which made me so happy cuz i got an A. OH another note. Poor becca. I think things went really bad this time. i knew she would get caught some day, you cant go around lieing about where you are and what youre doing for that long and not get caught but her parents really over reacted i mean come on, you should at least me relieved at first that your daughter is ok and then get angry and say if you do that again youre out but not right away they gave her no chance. Sara just called an apologised. that was nice of her. I said i was sorry i pushed her buttons and she was sorry that she got pissy. Thats good. I feel better. And andrew told me to talk to her hehe right when she called. My mom was talking to my dad today bout me throwing my bouqet off of the balcony and if the balcony would be safe. lets hope thats a long time from now. or long enough for me to get situated with my life. I think parents are getting angry with their kids quicker this year because we are leaving and they dont want us to go. Like noors parents say shes on drugs. Which is stupid but its probably cuz they are "protecting" her in some weird awful way. And beccas parents are loosing their last kid, so that must me hard. Im glad mom is taking all this pretty well and not accusing me of shooting up heroin. Cuz that would be a real bummer. Id have to shut down my drug dealing biz and all heheh just kidding. Aww that Average Joe show is so cute the guys are like total losers with awsome personalities. Its so sweet! hehe. Alrighty this was long and its late. Peace, Dreams, and Love
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(Anonymous)
2003-11-04 19:00
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Do you still have my duo book? I really need it to find our piece so we can start working on it.
<3 Logan(Reply to this) (Thread) |
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