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Leah (ldeville85) wrote,
@ 2004-02-04 19:09:00
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    sometimes it's so easy to forget your self
    sometimes it's so easy to forget your self when your life is shit. i'm scared, okay, i'm fucking scared to death about whats going on right now. i thought i wasn't, i thought i could do this, but i'm not strong enough. my mind is horse shit right now, i'm sleep deprived, moody, and hating everything that is happening. but God, i am so fucking scared. i seak guidance, a hand to hold, a voice to whisper in my ear at night, telling me it will all be okay. but i snap back into reality, i know it wont be okay, because i dont have that hand to hold that voice isn't there, support, i know not of the meaning to that word. the only thing i do know right now, is fear and dissapointment. hey look at me every one, i knew an angel once, her beauty was far beyond anything i ever knew before that day, but she was missing something, do fallen angels ever miss their wings? yes. i miss everything about the beauty in having freedom, but did i really ever have that freedom before. maybe i was chained from day one, i just didn't realize it. i once was something horrid, then i was amazing, now i'm just normal, i forgot everything i knew and picked up the things i didn't know at one point. i wish things were different. i regret my way of life.


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hang in there
butterxcup
2004-02-04 20:28 (link)
hey, i was bored :S so i read ur page...u sound like u need some one im guessin? well dont ever hesitaite to message me if u need to talk to some one, even tho u dont kno me, i'd love to help.
by the way, my names kassi, im in grade 9, message me back if u want, im a great listener. :)

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Re: hang in there
ldeville85
2004-02-04 21:25 (link)
i do need some one kassi, and thank you so much for your response. how ever i think i need someone beside me, not over the internet, but i will take what i have and use your offer. i'm a college drop out, sadly after my first semester i quit, and i'm just a little over stressed. i will handle it soon, and things will get better, no matter how scared i get. i've never given up and thats a poor trait it seems because no matter how much i bleed, i'm always back on my feet basically asking for more. i take a lot of shit, but i dish out little in return, so i'm used to being picked on. did you know it pisses bullys off when you do nothing when they tease you, it's great! i will take your advice and "hang in there" because it is a good thing to say, and do. i just hope that when things get hard you do the same. thanks again

~leah

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