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~kitty~ (kiteara) wrote,
@ 2003-09-16 15:46:00
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    Current mood: frustrated
    Current music:Millie and Billie ~ Alice Cooper

    Slowly going mad....
    That's right. My clan is driving me mad. Completely. It's mostly grandmother though. She expects me to sit over there with her all day and entertain her and clean the house and wait on her hand and foot. Mom came home from the doctor this morning and told us that he said she may have a bloodclot in her leg. Tomorrow she's going for an MRI to check it out. He said that if it is a bloodclot, there's not much he can do but amputate it... It seems to me there should be something that can be done...blood thinners or something less drastic that amputating... Of course, grandmother is throwing this in my face whenever I don't jump to do what she says. "Well you just don't care about taking some of the work off your poor mother." Screw you grandma. Yes, that's being a bad granddaughter and disrespectful. You know what? Too bad. I'm sick and tired of her twisting every little thing so that I am a mean, nasty, horrible, cruel person. I freely admit that yes, I can be very disrespectful and rude, and quite simply a bitch, but I'm not the creature she makes me out to be. I'm going to go crazy, being stuck with her all the time. She got mad at me today because I wanted to come home to be home for just a little while. I wanted to be by myself and alone and home, so she got pissy with me and threw my mom in my face again. "You should stay here and make sure the house is totally clean before your mom gets home, but you don't care that she'll have to do it." SCREW YOU! I did the dishes and straightened up the living room and dining room before I left and I know that once I head back over she will find a million other things that she wants done. Gods, everyone else gets to get away from her! Mom and Carl work, Dustin goes to school, I'm stuck with her. Usually I really don't mind. Mom needs the help with grandma, because it's gotten to where she can't even walk through the house anymore. We have to push her around in her wheelchair. She refuses to even try to move, because "it hurts". Yea, it hurts when you sit around doing nothing for ten years and don't do anything. Your muscles turn to mush and when you exert them to walk around and all it hurts at first, until they're used to the activity again. But if anyone tells her this, they're lying and just being mean and don't understand. *begins to pound head on desk* As I've said before and likely will again....Can I give up on this living thing?

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