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Kerri (kerriitaly) wrote,
@ 2003-01-04 01:12:00
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    New Years Eve
    well it was a fun night... Vicki, and I went to New York City with two of her friends and we met up with Anne (Vicki's old roommate) and her boyfriend. Anne had heard of a party at a club called the City Hall and had picked up tickets for us. When we got to the club everyone there was asian... we could not stop laughing... It was still a great time, unfortunatly in the beginning of the night Vicki and I got into a little thing.... again about her and Ryans relationship and how its not serious. Well I found my own fun, I met this guy Dave who had such an incredible body, we ended up making out for an hour and a half... it was the first guy i had been with since the ex. It really made me feel like i had taken a step. But then Vicki's friend puked, and we had to leave... He asked if i was coming back, and I said no, we kissed one more time and that was it... wow, was he hot... but it was nice to just walk away... and the funny thing is, the guy is moving to fucking california in a month, how ironic is that!?
    I talked to my therapist about the ex, and a conversation we had over IM (of course) and I talked about the background, and she came right out with "he is fucked up!", and then we talked about all the things wrong with him, and it helped so much. I really dont need his bullshit, insecurity, selfishness and immaturity. He refuses to face his problems and opts for the easy way, and he is irresponsible. I could go on... but the thing is, i dont need any of it in my life... and what i need to do is learn from this relationship, and if these things come up in a future relationship, get the hell out...
    So I feel like ive come to alot of resolve, and I feel really good about myself... Sure I still love him, but i deffinatly would not want to put myself through the pretensious bull shit ever again.

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