| Current mood: |  relieved |
| Current music: | Rufus Wainright - Little Sister |
Well....I'm HOME!!!! And I feel....I don't know what. Honestly, I'm just relieved to be around my family again. The most difficult part of being in Boston has little to do with missing my friends...I mean yes, I do miss them, but it's easier to deal with missing friends...I'm used to it. I don't talk to them everyday, they don't really call me, I find it difficult to call them...I've grown used to it. But my family? You guys know how important they are to me and I still talk to them everyday, so seeing them is just the most awesome thing ever. Just sitting around my kitchen table laughing again...I can't believe I have to go back soon!
But yeah...I already miss my BU buddies though! It's so weird...I miss people I just saw today, for the simple fact that I can't turn around in my chair and talk to Sil or walk down the hall to Ashley or hop on the elevator and go to A-tower (aka Russia, lol Ash, Sil).
It's weird because at home I don't have that closeness with my friends that I have at BU. That constant accessibility..no one is ever far away. But here...I dunno.
Some of my friends say I've changed. I agree, whole heartedly. I'm not really sure how to put that change into words though. I'm more deliberate in my thoughts and my speech. I'm more tired, more stressed, not quite as happy go lucky as I used to be...more serious. I seem detached from things...I dunno. Maybe I haven't changed...maybe I've just reverted back to the way I was before senior year...when school mattered, lol.
Someone in my pagan club read my Tarot and said that I'm going to have a lot of trouble drawing the line between BU and "home". I think he was definately right. So many of the things that used to fit don't anymore...and I guess that's sad, although I'm not too terribly upset about it. But something about it does make me feel angry and jealous...isn't that weird? I think I'm jealous that the people who got to stay here...they aren't changing that much, things still fit, they're the same...because there haven't been drastic environmental changes. They weren't torn away from their friends and moved hours away and had to seek coping method.
But the one thing that hasn't really changed...and I hope never will....is my family. And this town. And my love for it. I'm so glad to be home...
LoL And I'm soooooooooooo sorry I've seemed so melancholy lately! Hopefully a little sleep this weekend will perk me up a bit more!
I love you guys, I really do!
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