Kasandora (kasandora) wrote, @ 2005-02-06 00:35:00

I get so mad... when I see her van here, or every time she calls (especially when she leaves a message). I get so irritated, and I've decided that I really just can't stand her at all. It's so selfish and stupid. Why am I so jealous? I talk like she's here all the time and that she's always calling. It's really not that bad... in my anger I exaggerate things. ..... I guess I'm so jealous because I want his attention. We get to spend so little time together, that I get jealous of anyone else who I feel gets more time with him than I do. It makes me mad to think that she might know more about him and what's going on with him than I do. It makes me mad to think (to know, really) that she spends more time with him than I do. But what... can I do? I can't even begin to find the words to say how I feel... and even if I could, nothing would change. I want.. the simple things. I want a hug when I come home from work. But since you work 3rd shift, you're usually sleeping when I come home and you don't wake up until 10-15 minutes before you have to leave for work. And then because I'm depressed, I stay online all night and am sleeping when you come home in the morning. I'm so tired of being lonely.