I guess first thing I should do is talk to Angelo. But... what would I say? And how would I even say it? I'm so insecure, so unsure of myself and everything, I just need his reassurance. I need his attention. I need to be able to say to him, "I need you to pay more attention to me" but I'm not the kind of person who can say things like that without feeling guilty about it. I feel guilty for asking for things... I'm weird like that. It's because I feel like I'm being selfish. I'm the kind of person who generally tries to think of others first... before I do something, I think about them and what they might want or need, and I try to act according to that. So, it's hard for me to just be myself because I'm always trying to be what I think everyone else wants me to be. *whew!* It's hard work, but throughout my life I've always been able to find people who I can be myself around so that takes away a lot of the pressure. I REALLY DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE I KNOW. But this is the way that I am, take it or leave it.
Really I think I'd prefer to leave it myself.... XD
