Dear lordy lord.. the reason I had to make a whole new journal is because a friend on mine.. vince-aroni told this girl that he likes my journal link. I was a little harsh on him, but I am sorry, I have some personal shit in there that I have been writting.. and I know to him that doesn't mean jack.. but its hard to open up to people. Number one.. I don't like letting people know how I feel. If I do they fucking pitty me.. and its not a god damn cry out for help. For real.. if I was going to kill myself.. I know exactly how.. and I would do it. But I don't.. instead I talk about it online.. in my journal and there ya go. This one is going to be my feelings.. my true feelings. If you don't like it.. then don't look.. its that simple. GRR...
I guess I could talk about how I have bad dreams about my mommy dying.. but I dont' feel like repeating that.. so I am going to copy and then paste some of my old journal on here...
I hate dreaming.. lately I have been having really bad dreams about my mom dying.. in my dream she dies of breast cancer, just like her mommy did and her mommies, mommy. And its just scarry I guess. I don't know what to do about it, I mean I know she is fine and stuff.. but it scares me. Ever since I was a little devil child I was always teased about how my parents would die because they were older then all the other kids parents. So its always been a fear of losing them. And I think its getting more scarry because I know that I am slowly becoming more independent and I know that I could move on.. and to me thats the scary part.. not sure.. I don't really know.. but yeah.. thats been what I have been dreaming about lately.
Ok so there ya go.. by the way.. I love my friends.. although lately I have been learning who to say what to.