Kahlan (kahlan) wrote, @ 2008-10-29 13:43:00

Indecision is my friend
A month ago I applied and interviewed for a job at a language school in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. I didn't get the job, which sucked big ones, but I survived. Since then, I've left the school I've been teaching at for the last nine months and have embarked on a career as a freelance English language teacher. My current student is German and a bigwig at an important investment bank.

So far so good, but the good times are going to end on Friday. I don't have any work lined up and I'm not sure if there will be any work to be had this side of Christmas. There's also talk of a recession...

There *is* the possibility of work, thanks to a good friend, but it's in Argentina.

Yes, you read correctly: Argentina.

This is the deal.


• My friend has a two-bedroom flat in a very nice part of Buenos Aires and she has offered me a roof over my head while I'm there.


• Her boss has seen my CV and will hire me as soon as I step foot in the country.


• My friend has an extensive network of contacts among the English language schools of Buenos Aires so finding work won't be a problem.


• The Argentine government has a very relaxed attitude towards foreign nationals working in their country so getting a working/business visa isn't an issue.


• I've found a reasonably priced and open-ended plane ticket.


• I won't earn a lot of money, but the living is so cheap that I'll be laughing, especially if I take many £££s.


• I can learn Spanish.


• I can travel around the continent to my heart's content.


• I'll be in South America!

But I'm hesitating to commit to any of this and I can feel the beginnings of a stress-related ulcer. I think I'm afraid and I'm angry and ashamed of myself for being afraid. I'm afraid of what my mum will say (She's going to hate it. Trust me on this one.) and the hassle of extricating myself from my responsibilities to my family and the guilt which will follow makes me pause. I'm afraid of the unknown. This isn't a jolly backpacking jaunt around the world, this is serious! It's work! And life! Did I mention that I need to book my ticket by Friday 2.00pm to guarantee the lowest possible fare and the flight is for Sunday 16th November? Just typing the last sentence made my stomach churn.

So, what have I got to lose? Nothing, but I feel... I don't know. It's such a huge decision and even though I've been thinking about working abroad for months, now that I have to decide I'm freaking out. Picture me running around in a circle, screeching and flapping my hands in a distracted fashion, and you'll get the idea.

	eileen 2008-10-29 10:09 (link)
	I wish I could help you decide, but I can only be here to offer support with whatever you choose. If you decide to go, I'll miss you, but it sounds like an awesome opportunity. One that you've been talking about for a while (you mentioned it when I last saw you in August). (Reply to this) (Thread)

	bettiepie 2008-10-29 10:42 (link)
	Are you the sort who regrets the things you've done, or the things you didn't do? (Reply to this) (Thread)

delle 2008-10-29 10:56 (link)

It's an open ended ticket. You aren't going forever. If you hate it, you can come back. All you would be committing to is trying it. It could be a big change, but it doesn't have to be. If you don't like it, you can always just come back and say "not for me". Of course, if you do like it, it is a big change and you'll need to address all your family issues. Oh, and whilst your mum might hate it, she's also your mum and she knows you. She has to know that you jetting off to far off places for a long time has always been quite likely. It is the person you are and have always been. Whatever you decide to do, good luck. And try to avoid the ulcer thing. I'm not sure what medical care in Buenos Aires is like. (Reply to this) (Thread)

callie_demeter 2008-10-29 12:39 (link)

I remember you talking about doing a TEFL course and then going to teach. but never heard any more about it, and wondered if you'd done it. And it sounds like you have, and have been teaching for the last 9 months! I totally understand the wanting to go, but the uncertainty/scaredness stopping you. Has there been anything where you've felt like this (or even on a lesser level) before, like maybe the backpacking year you did? Or the giving up your job to do TEFL? Because those turned out very well, by the sounds of things. The only thing I would say, is to get a position lined up before you go, because that "my friend's boss would hire me the minute I land in the country" wouldn't be concrete enough for me to up sticks and move. That was the only flashing light I saw in your list of things. Whether you choose to go or not, I hope the decision is the best one for you [hug]. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	bally 2008-10-29 14:16 (link)
	What Delle said, for she is wise. (Reply to this) (Thread)

loreley 2008-10-30 15:12 (link)

I think I may be the voice of dissent here. It's just... from reading this post, and from when we talked about it back in August, to me it feels like your gut feeling is not to go. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) And I am good friends with my gut feeling. If your first instinct is not to go, don't. Even if you can't tell exactly why. And if it really just is the fact that it's stressing you out - there will always be cheap tickets again. You don't have to go right now, do you? From the sound of it, your friend is staying for a while, so you could always go later. It's an opportunity, yes, but it's also not the last opportunity you'll ever have. It's completely understandable to be afraid, and it's okay. Maybe it means that you're not ready for this right at this moment. And then there's what Del said - you can always come back. Don't be afraid to be a failure - if it doesn't work out for you, try something else. I hope this didn't come across as talking out of my arse. I love you and I admire you for your strength and your courage to go after your dreams. And because I do, I want you to make the right choice, and I want to help you. Don't just go because you feel it's a singular opportunity. Go because you want to; stay if you don't. [heart] (Reply to this) (Thread)

cosmicavatar 2008-10-30 16:13 (link)

Oh, dude. Life is strange and scary sometimes. And this is not just a dream. It's finally real. And it's something you've wanted for years but, at the same time, when the crunch comes, it may not be what you want after all. How contrary is that? And yet totally natural. Just remember four things. One: it's a wonderful opportunity, and although it's very sudden, I have faith that you can do it and have a bloody awesome time. Two: yes, there will be guilt. But if your mum loves you (and she does), she will want you to be happy, even if it means her daughter is going away and she can't handle that right now. Three: if you can't make the jump right now but this overseas life is meant to be, another opportunity will come. Four: if you decide this isn't the life for you, it's not the end of the world. It just means it's time to focus your energies on a new challenge. You can make the right decision for you now. Trust your instincts. [hug] (Reply to this) (Thread)