|Current mood:|| bitchy|
|Current music:||MXPX - "Responsibility"|
Evil e-mail & Punk 4ever
(*Note: I am adding this b/c now that I have posted it my e-mail is back up!*)
My e-mail is down. In case anyone wonders where I am, (which is doubtful). Hotmail & Mailcity...(of course, it had to be mine and mom's e-mail providers!). Grrr. Hopefully it'll be up again soon. I wanna read my e-mails from Gary!!!! He called me yesterday. We had a really great talk. He said a lot of sweet, meaningful things. I think I'm getting attached. I mean, why else would I miss him so much. Things are just going to be difficult at first, but what relationship is w/o it's problems?
I got my GC & NFG shirts in the mail yesterday. The NFG one is even more kik ass in real life! It's got glitter on it and everything! YEAH! I watched the "Boys & Girls" video by GC for the millionth time today. That song & video & band just rock!...(& nevermind the fact that Joel is hot). The dance sequence w/Joel and the older ladies is killer! Next up was The Ataris w/"Boys of Summer". Another kik ass band & song. Why am I telling you about my music video watching?...you ask. Well, after watching them, (especially GC's), I am reminded once again about having to grow up. I am scared to death to & everyone is pushing me to. I am 22 years old people! Calm yourselves! Right now I am single, looking for (another) job, and getting ready to go back to school! Why all the pressure? I know that I have wanted to be a cop since I was 5, but I am scared to death to fill out the application, get the job, and put on the uniform. I wanna be a punk rocker forever. I want to be able to say "rad" & "hella" till the day I die. I want to get weak in the knees over Blink 182, (and furthermore, I want to go to their concerts until they stop performing!), I wanna watch silly movies, I wanna play out & video tape Jackass type stunts w/my friends, I wanna live in band tees & my MADE hoodie & flair jeans & Etnies, I wanna stay up late, I wanna eat fast food whenever the mood strikes me damnit! I just don't want to grow up yet! Mom is pushing me the hardest. She's embarrassed by the fact that I am going back to school to get my Bachelors. Instead of being happy, she complains to anyone AND everyone who will listen! She says I've been in school too long. I've known people who've been in school 6,7 & 8 years and only have a 2 year degree! I also know people who have a 2 or 4 year degree and have been out of school a loooooong time and still haven't used it! Why do I have to work for the Sheriff's Office right away? Why can't I get a "teenager job" and go to school at the same time and then go to work for the Sheriff's Department? Why?! I wish somebody would explain it to me b/c I just don't f***ing get it!
Maybe that's why I usually date older guys. I think I like the stability they have. I mean, one of us has to be the grown up. Might as well be him instead of me. Gary rox b/c he's down to earth and is super smart. He keeps me grounded. While I'm caught up in all my short term shiznit, he's reminding me that it'll work out in the future. (*Geez, that word scares me*) Last time I talked to Billy he said, "Just have fun Tiff. Don't go out looking for someone to marry". Boy, that kid doesn't know me at all! I never did & never will do that. I am having fun & I'm freaking out b/c everyone is pushing me to give it up. I think why mom is pushing is b/c she thinks then I'll support her. She can give all her money to asshole Tyler and then I can support her. Why my friends are pushing me...I'll never know. Back off people!
Ok, I am done ranting and raving, (I think). I'm gonna go get some Taco Bell now. Then I think I'll lay out to tan and buy the Sugarcult CD. Yeah, I'm 22 and I can do that damnit!
"You think I'm so simplistic. I'm onto you and your tricks. I'm still young and I'd like to stay that way. 'Cause growing up won't make everything okay. I'm still young and I'd like to stay that way. I've got a voice and I've got a lot to say" - MXPX
(Post a new comment)
i have sympathy for you about the whole growing up thing. i know JUST how you feel. i wanna be 80 years old and still be able to mosh and have all of my piercings and sooooo many other things.|
(Reply to this) (Thread)
(Post a new comment)