|Current mood:|| thoughtful|
Well i have been thinking alot latley...Why do people think that others can change so easily... like me my dad is always on my back about things and its really sickening.. like wow i have been happy for like a week and i mean all the times when im always sad all he can say is there is nothign wrong...i mean how the fuck would he know.. what i see him 12 hours a week i know that that is more than other people.. but i know he dosent even know me and i dont think he wants to i mean i can walk to his house in like 20 mins.. i have slept over there like 4 times he has lived there for over a year.. and he has totally changed... first of alli know he isnt happy with his girlfriend... i dont like her either.. and he always tells me he wants to leave her it is like fucker stop being a pussy and leave her... and i mean he used t be so mean to my mom.. my mom was so skinny and he would call her fat and ugly my mom did everything for him and now he is with her... and she IS ugly and not fat but she is alot bigger than my mom ever was... my mom is like fucking what 138 right now cause she was sick and yada and this bitch is like 170 ok and she is SO ugly i mean how can you be so mean to my mom someone who loved you and did everything for you and then be so nice to this bitch who is mean to you AND dosent like your kids. wow and like when my parents were married my mom had to work 3 jobs to have a christmas for us cause my dad wouldnt give her any money.. its like wow you really love your kids..
but yeah about the changing part.. you can chan ge what you look like and how you act .. but can you really change how you feel inside? my answer is noi mean some people have the inner strenght to do so...but life is all about suffering and i know that most people arent happy with there selves and there lives... even the people who have it all are still dissatisfied dont ask me why cause i have no idea how this is possible... but that is the way it is... i dont understand it really.... but o well... i mean if you have it all and then you bitch about what you dont have like o i dont have a fucking 400 dollar purse its like wow big deal.. life is so materialistic all people think about is what they have and dont have.. i mean wow no get over it.... your life isnt all better with a new pair of jeans.. how about love and happiness within ones self? i dont understand how people cAn be so cold and unaware of how cold they are/... when there parents are working and doing all they can and they have everything they want and they ask for more knowing that they cant afford it ... its like wow do you want to live on the streets so yuo can afford your materialistic shit... i mean seriously what the fuck i dont get it.
I guess thats just me though... i dont understand life, and i probably never will.
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