|Current mood:|| sad|
|Current music:||x. cold .x|
Havent written in a few days.. been busy.. on Tuesday pople slept over.. Laura, Brit, Jen, Becky, and Chantel... yeah that was ok but some shit happened... and then last night i slept at lauras with brit.. came hme.. went to my dads.. and then now im sitthing here bored and pissed... i dont know i just got into a sad mood.. maybe because im having some jelously... with a lot of built up aggresion... grr..
ok well the jelous part comes with a old friend of mine.. well we were best friends we did everythign together.. hung out everyday and then we stopped being friends... and starrted again.. and i dont see her that often at all and we dont chill and she broke it off with a diffrent friend and now they are cool again and hang out alot.. o man i dont know im confused about friends... alot of shit went down on Tuesday too... like i have a lot of weird feelings right now....
Ok and im pissed because i was so hapopy about goign to vermont.. and i want Jenny to come with me and then i asked and my mom is like o i dont know we will see but i mean now Georgie and sam and stacey arent comming and jess and josh are only going to be there for a few days.. and im gonna be bored... but even if she cant come i will find stuff to do.. but i mean i dont know ... i dont wanna be lonely... im always lonley.. even tho i have been busy these past comple days..
Well yeah my room is trashed... how nice... its ok tho maybe i will get bored and clean it..? i dont know we will see....
o yes more mixed emotions... okay well i thought i found the right guy... so sweet he was.. well yeah that went to shit i guess... how can you look into someones eyes call them beatifull.. o i like you... and be soo nice.. and the drop them like they were never there.. that shit hurts.. im never going to find love.. even if i try i just want someone to be there besides like a friendship i dont know... whatever im done trying.. im not letting myself get close to anyone no more..
wow this is probably one of the longest entrys ever written by me. YAY.. wow im a loser.. there isnt much more to say ... i mean i can go on ranting and raving forever but its not helping nothing.. so later
xX_J u l i a n n _Xx
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