| Current mood: |  okay |
The last few days haven't been too eventful, and though it would appear that I've been lonely, I'm beginning to enjoy the time I get by myself. There's so much to observe, so much to take in from the beauty that is our world. I think it's often taken for granted.
For the past few mornings I have awoken earlier than usual. I'm not allowing myself to sulk, and my self discipline is improving. I wake up, get out of bed, throw on a pair of sweats and a sports bra, eat a quick breakfast then exit out the back door, dogs in tow, for my morning jog.
After my jog, I sit down on the soft sand and let my mind wander as my dogs prance playfully up and down the beach. They've come to enjoy it as much as I have.
For the most part the beach is private, but the occasional surfer, mother with children, or set of lovers who fail to see anyone but each other, can be spotted from where I sit. Sometimes seeing them makes me lonely and brings back memories of him, but I try as best I can to push the thoughts away. What good will it do to dwell upon them?
Still, I wish I knew if I did something wrong. I think that's the hardest part -- being kept in this perpetual state of guessing. I don't know where he is, or why he hasn't returned my calls, but I realize that there's nothing more I can do until he's ready to talk. Giving him space is my only option, and I just hope that he knows that I still think about him and cling to a small shred of hope that he'll come back and things between us will be good, if not better than they used to be.
And until the guessing ends, I have this beautiful beach, my wonderful dogs and amazing friends to keep me company.
Yeah... I'll be okay. :-\
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