JFox (jfox) wrote, @ 2005-05-07 17:30:00

Current mood:	okay
Current music:	Gomez - Las Vegas Dealer

Uncertainty
I have not updated in a long time, even by my standards. There are reasons.

Unrelated to them, Mish was back for a bit this last week, which was nice. I feel it was all too brief, however, as she had a rather tight schedual, too tight to spend any real non-rushed time with anyone, and she's off again, not to return for another 16 months.

This seemed like a long time, until I considered that years aren't as long as they used to be, and that I can remember events around 16 months ago as if they were nearer than a year and a half in the past. Trouble is, this time I don't know where I'll be in 16 month's time. Shit, I don't even know where I'll be in four.

It's this uncertainty that's doing it for me. For the first time in a long time I'm not entirely certain of the direction I'm heading in, or how well equipt I am to carry straight on to where I intended to be. Uncertainty leads to an awful lack of focus (not useful, as my exams have not yet finished). Uncertainty stops me consolidating my thoughts into blog entries. Uncertainty sucks.

This deadlock can be broken, but only by a short period of answering some Big Questions I have asked of myself. We shall see.

...

erfalaswen 2005-05-07 18:22 (link)

It's this uncertainty that's doing it for me. For the first time in a long time I'm not entirely certain of the direction I'm heading in, or how well equipt I am to carry straight on to where I intended to be. Uncertainty leads to an awful lack of focus (not useful, as my exams have not yet finished). Uncertainty stops me consolidating my thoughts into blog entries. Uncertainty sucks. I know exactly how you feel. That is where I was this time last year. No job, no course place, and a life plan that had come crashing down around my ears. Just take your own time. One day at a time if necessary. Uncertainty is essentially a temporary state of affairs. In a little while, things will become clear again. *hugs* It does get better. Honest. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	dark_ambition 2005-05-10 04:57 (link)
	Whatever direction we're going in, I'm going there with you. I hope that makes things a little easier :) (Reply to this) (Thread)