Eats shoots and leaves
This morning, while waiting for my 4 espressos to be dispensed from the office coffee machine, the pantry auntie, inspired undoubtedly by the morning's headline news on Cantonese rag "730", said to me somewhat mournfully: "Pandas have a better life than us. I wish I were a panda."
I fully concur. At 730 am, she was making tea for some ill-mannered and ill-deserving partner. I was standing in queue for machine-dispensed coffee only 4 hours after I left the office. If only I were Panda 601 or Panda 606 (soon to be Lok Lok and Yin Yin respectively - or the way around, whatever), bestowed upon Hong Kong by The Almighty Pak Geng for ten years of HK's faithful bootlicking. It'd be so cool to eat shoots and leaves. Or eats, shoots and leaves.
Seriously, doesn't China have anything besides pandas to offer other countries as gifts? They gotta stop delegating the duty of taking care of the finicky, lazy creatures - they aren't even that keen on mating for chrissakes - to others.
Ah well. Maybe it'd really be cool to be a panda. At least all they have to do is to crawl under a faux bamboo grove in their Ocean Park habitat and play dead while overeager Honkies snap away, ignoring all signs of "No flashlights allowed". But I, a human being, a highly evolved mammal that is pretty much keen on mating at least, has to deal with being the vehicle of various proxy wars fought between demanding clients and last-minute type bosses in my office habitat (I might as well give up my apartment at the rate I'm going!)
Somewhat dateless this weekend. But all I wanna do is order takeout and veg out watching Discovery Channel.
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