|Current mood:|| drained|
|Current music:||Underoath "Its Dangerous Business..."|
MY HEART IS DEAD, ITS WAY PAST BEATING.
Lately all Ive been doing is working. I have no motivation to get up and just go anywhere anymore because my anti-depressants make me lazy. Yesterday I went to my therapist and talked to her about Kyle. She said he gives me hope about "us" and then he takes it away again and that makes a lot of sense. He knows what to say to get me to think that well be together again, but its just an act. He told me he loved me, and you cant take back those kind of words. Whats worse is that it had no meaning behing it whatsoever. I dont know what to do. Officially we are together, but I dont feel that way. I do want to be with him, but its not going anywhere and he keeps hurting me. Do you want me or not? Ive just been thinking about him today, and I really dont like feeling this way about it. Im trying to let go because theres no sense in keeping something that doesnt want to stick around. Im just not going to go through it anymore. Im trying to better myself and my life, but he keeps fucking it up. He makes me happy, but then he gets me depressed and in moods where I just dont give a fuck about anything. I dont know what Im going to do about "us".
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