Jeff Timmons (jbtimmons) wrote, @ 2003-05-02 09:43:00

Current mood:	loved
Current music:	the twins gurgling in their swings

best birthday ever
I wish last night didn't have to end. But, with that said, I'm glad it did at the same time, because now I can wake up, and know that I'm not in jeopardy of losing him. I feel as if I can breathe again. I feel his heart beat against mine, even when he's away. I know that somewhere inside of him, is a part of me that doesn't make him cringe or curl up in fright, but it makes him smile. And that, my friends, is the best feeling in the world.

*smiles, running fingers over lips* It's amazing...love. I had forgotten how it felt...that brand new sensation. The way your heart jumps out of your chest when you share that first kiss that really means something. But he reminded me of that feeling last night. Laying there in the sand, fingers laced with his, staring into those deep brown eyes...I felt as if my heart were about to explode with all the love I hold for him. If there were some way I could turn that into something tangible for him, I would...in a heartbeat. But the best I can do is show him the only way I know how...with the little things.

I woke up this morning and crawled out of bed quietly, careful not to wake him. I went to the nursery and I stood there for God knows how long, just staring at our children. Studying every inch of them, grinning from ear to ear at those two little bundles of perfection. CJ and Krissy were special to me from the moment they were born, but this morning, I felt as if I were watching them being born all over again. That rush of pride overcame me, and tears formed in my eyes, because for the first time since their birth, I knew that they will grow to see that they are a product of pure and unconditional love...that they would understand that their father and I are two souls, entwined into one...and their whole being is representation of that.

Not long after, Lys stirred, and I got her ready for school and shipped her off. She was a bit upset she didn't get her usual kiss from Dad, but I explained that he had had a long night, and she seemed to understand. And now, here I am, sitting in our new home, watching our two children smile, knowing our third will bound through that door a few hours from now with that gorgeous little grin. I feel complete. For the first time in my life, everything has fallen into place, and I'm savoring every moment of it.

	alex__mclean 2003-05-01 10:13 (link)
	You guys are so cute and if you ever need a babysitter *waves* (Reply to this) (Thread)

	jbtimmons 2003-05-01 10:18 (link)
	*chuckles* Thanks, man. And we might take you up on that offer. *grins* It's hard to find time to ourselves anymore with the kids. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alex__mclean 2003-05-01 10:29 (link)
	I like kids and I'm pretty good with them. Anytime you wanna drop them all on me, just do it! *thumbs up* You guys need some alone time anyways. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)