| Current mood: |  numb |
| Current music: | the keyboard |
tinker time
You know how good things sound when you have a little alcohol in your system?
So Chris is still at Gil's. I had to call the cops on Shelli...she just wouldn't go. She kept trying to get me to kiss her...touch her. I feel violated...dirty... I wanted to bad to just knock her out. I've never hit a woman before, but I came close today.
The cop cars and everything scared Lys. I spent the rest of the day trying to calm her down and take care of the twins. She's already woken up with one nightmare. I have the feeling she'll be sleeping with Chris and I again tonight.
So now it's time for us to work on our relationship, right? Why do things have to be so damn complicated? I'd love nothing more than to just crawl into a cave right now and never come out. But I can't. I'm hanging on for the kids. Right now...tonight...that's all I have left to hang on for. After...Shelli...I don't know if I even want to be touched.
I'm not the type to admit I'm falling apart, or ask for help, because I don't like to look weak, but I'm going to take a chance. I need some help...
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