| Current mood: |  disappointed |
Day Five....
And with that, it's over....
I couldn't do it anymore. I woke up this morning and went to the bathroom. My vision went gray and blurry, and it wouldn't clear up. I waited.... and waited.... still blurry. I tried to weigh myself on the scale, but I couldn't see the numbers. I trudged back in to bed. I lay there. Cold. My heart pounding. I was so scared.
I woke up a while later. Stood up and blacked out. I have blacked out every single solitary time I have stood up on my feet. My legs felt like jello. So weak. I talked to a friend. She basically told me that there will always be a time and place to lose weight, but I have to play it safe. So I ate. I only meant to eat a little.... but I ate a lot.
FAT
FAT
FAT
At first I felt a little better. But I still feel so weak. I have trouble keeping my eyes open, I can't walk, or stand, or do much of anything. I don't even know what I want anymore. If I don't eat I'm not happy, if I do eat I'm still not happy.
It's a Friday night, and yet here I am, too exhausted and drained to even walk from room to room in my house.
I'm such a failure....
~Kassenia Jade~
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(Anonymous)
2003-10-04 10:49
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Sweetheart, you are NOT a failure. You got so far on that fast!!! I am SOOOOOOOO proud of you!!! Plus it was your first one, and you got to day 5. I'm sorry if I sound like a highly emotional mom when I say all of this, but I really am happy for you that you got that far. Don't feel bad because you ate something, because if you had compromise your health for a few pounds lost, I am glad that you chose to eat something before you got too sick. Just remember, you tried, and you DID succeed. If I were there I would give you a big hug!!!! Love ya girlie!!
~*~BECCA~*~(Reply to this) (Thread) |
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