ObsidianWeasel (jabingi) wrote, @ 2007-10-06 08:41:00

What I like about Dick


Dick is awesome. There has never been anything so powerful in the history of the United States of America as Dick. Dick is even more powerful then Bush!

For you pagans and foreigners, Dick is the Vice President of the United States/evil mastermind. He's the former CEO of a prosperous contracting firm that is right now raking in billions of dollars thanks to the slaptacular fun that is Iraq. I wonder if Dick still has stock options in Halliburton, through a family member or some other brilliant way to make his bread and butter at the expense of the Iraqi people? I also wonder if you stuck Dick into Bush, if you'd get a dancing alien that jumps out of people's chest after feasting on their still beating hearts?



Dick is quite possibly the most powerful vice president in American history. We all know that Bush is just a warm, slippery Dick puppet, and since the administration has stripped away so many rights under the pretext of terror (meaning they terrorize us into being such idiots that we bought the entire 'give up freedoms to keep safe' line), we all get to be Stuffed with Dick! Honestly, I wish he could run for another term, the next crop doesn't look even remotely as demented.

So here, in no particular order is

What I Like About Dick


1. His name is Dick. And he is proud to go by that name. Dick.
2. Whenever there is a story on the tv news about Dick, we get to watch some journalist with a fake smile try not to blush at the mention of his super powerful super name.
3. With a little hat, he'd look like the chest bursting alien from Spaceballs. And Spaceballs is cool!
4. He's making millons destroying a country the size of Pennsylvania and rebuilding it over and over and over again. Money is sexy. Dick is then, sexy.
5. He has his very own Bush to use at whim. Power is also sexy.
6. There just aren't too many diabolical, cruel, ruthless dictators left in the world outside of France. It was nice to see it brought back to America.
7. He supports his daughter's right to hide her sexual orientation so that the whacko right doesn't hate him for raising a lesbian daughter. He's also not afraid to use his own grandchildren in some photo-op grandstanding attempting to repair his image as the guy who raised a lesbian daughter. "Look! One of my kids went straight!"
8. His name. Is. Dick.

Email Dick and let him know how much you'd love to be the pod-host of his alien brood! You may as well, you know, it will be better to comply when the ships land. Resistance is futile.
Vice_president@whitehouse.gov

The Made Up word of the day:
Dickery (noun) Political trickery as created by Dick Cheney. The cleverest Dickery I know of is how Dick-in-Bush convinced the American People that illegal wire taps on everyone's phone was a necessary evil in the fight against a people that we armed to begin with so that they could aid us in the war against the spread of communism.