Joel R. Madden (j__madden) wrote, @ 2003-06-26 20:48:00

Current mood:

listless

New layout, new icons, new userinfo.. which I haven't even looked over so it's prolly fucked up lookin.

I feel like the shittiest husband alive right now. I haven't been around enough, I haven't been there to protect Mandy from assholes. I haven't.. the fuck. I'm just failing. Mandy's depressed and I don't know how to help her. I can't even help myself. I barely eat, I barely sleep. I'm anxious all the time, I'm fuckin' stressed. Yeah so, how can you help someone else when you're falling apart yourself. I don't even know what's doing it. I just feel like I can't get a grasp on shit and work it out.

I threw up the other day. I couldn't keep anything down and I was running purely off of coffee. Mandy noticed I wasn't looking too good and asked me if I was sick. I don't think I am. I think everythin' is just.. wearin' me out. With all that coffee and no food, I held my hand straight out to show Mandy. It was shakin' like hell and she got the most worried look on her face. She told me to go see a doctor and I told her I didn't want to. Why the hell am I putting this extra stress on my wife. She doesn't need it. She's got enough to worry about with the babies, she doesn't need me bein' a baby and not takin' care of myself. Mandy told me maybe I need to take a few more days off after this break is over with, but of course I can't afford to do that. We can't cancel shows like that. This European tour is important.

End of update. I gotta stop bein' an ass and pick myself up. Mandy needs me, and fuck I'm not gonna let her down. I'm just sick of shit puttin' a strain on our relationship, but I can't let it get to me like this.

Wilmer - You know what I don't like about you? Everything. You say it was a mistake, like "oops, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose control of myself like that and hurt you." Shut the fuck up. You didn't spill a glass of milk. You purposely hurt my wife. You know, I knew about your past history with Mandy, but I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt when you came around and told her you wanted to be friends. I fuckin' told her that she could go hang out with you if she wanted to. But now look. You haven't fuckin' changed at all. No one hurts my wife like that, no one. I'm puttin' my foot down this time though, if you ever fuckin' come around her I'll slit your throat. Sound good? I thought so. Mandy gets enough shit from people, she doesn't need it from you too.

	mandy_moore 2003-06-26 23:15 (link)
	You're not being a baby :( I like taking care of you even though I'm sucking badly at it at the moment. I'm sorry I'm not being a very good wife to you. :( But I am very worried about you, pleeeeeeeease see a doctor for me :( (Reply to this) (Thread)

	gwen_stefanix 2003-06-27 00:35 (link)
	i like the new layout joel its cool! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	j__madden 2003-06-27 11:53 (link)
	Thank you Gwen! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	j__madden 2003-06-27 11:53 (link)
	That's the hottest icon... but I'm sure you knew that. And that was way too many frowns for one reply post. You're being a good wife Mandy. Don't worry.. and if you want me to see a doctor I will. It's prolly nothin' more than my nerves though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2003-06-27 12:32 (link)
	OOps, wrong room??? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_maggs 2003-06-27 05:59 (link)
	Mandy likes my receeding hairline Why did that make me laugh so much? :\ Your layout is cute, and my new mission in life is to get onto your userinfo so I'm going to harrass you. Hope you don't mind ;D Hope you feel better soon :-[ (Reply to this) (Thread)

	j__madden 2003-06-27 11:54 (link)
	HAHA She does! She told me! I don't mind :) And thanks. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_maggs 2003-06-27 14:20 (link)
	your receeding harline is adorable :-[ heh, next time you're on aim I'm gonna attack you so bad ;D (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	christensen_e 2003-06-27 10:19 (link)
	*thumbs up* great layout. the hair...is effing cool too (Reply to this) (Thread)

	j__madden 2003-06-27 11:55 (link)
	Thanks Erika. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(Reply from suspended user)

	jessi_s 2003-06-27 14:53 (link)
	- Mentioned in the user info - WOOT WOOT! - Shakes her butt like Cameron Diaz in Charlie's Angels - (Reply to this) (Thread)